there are days in which even the strongest have to hang onto something or get swept away by the winds of change, today the winds blew fiercely and what began as a subtle breeze. soon took on the form of a mighty gale... so yeah if you see toto grab em. from all four corners of the earth, everyone has a very different description of this time ahead for us. sometimes in all of our lives we become part of the bigger picture, that time is coming.... keeping my fingers on the pulse of a few indicators that change is coming they each speak of a time in the very near future when we all will feel a weight lift from us, as this wave of positive energy washes over the earth. some see it as a physical storm of sorts that covers the planet, others use the term metaphorically...look inside and be the change, yet others see this as the time when the good shall be given greater life force and the negative a swift kick off the planet... no matter what you believe change is in the air, it doesn't take much to feel the energy as it twists and turns within each of us. this energy movement within does have some physical side effects... from what my sources tell me to get ready for a disney "A" ticket sort of ride, one that will not only upset the apple cart but turn it into applesauce. the ones who will be feeling some of the early effects are those who are hypersensitive to light, sound, temperatures, these people, me included will feel these sensitivities heightened. which will not be too easy on us hypersensitive types simple tasks that now require very little effort will have an entirely new level of difficulty as we find ourselves being annoyed by a new level of rude. people who are loudly proclaiming their lives achievements or failings while strolling through the grocery store or market oblivious to the fact that the entire building does not need to hear, about little tiffany's first day at soccer camp, or that george is at it again and sticking his (thingy, her word not mine) into a few of his clients wives... and that aunt agatha is off the wagon 3rd time this month... moonshine will do that to a person. someone get her into a program already! and that after her promotion ms loudmouth, went out and bought that 175k mercedes benz, well that is freakin awesome for her. BUT HEY WE ALL DON'T NEED TO HEAR YOU! the public, in general, wants you to take your inane conversation and your bloody cell phone and shove it where the sun doesn't shine!
along with this new level of joy, we will be wary of large gatherings of people, issues again with both noise and them invading our comfort zones, there are some people i hear tell that do not mind someone entering their no fly zone. or as i like to point out where my shoulder begins to the end of my fist, imagine a circle within that limited amount of space this is my no-fly zone. this small but valuable chunk of airspace is invitation only, don't enter unless requested, if you don't have that invitation in hand step the "back" off.. between me and you, there are not too many that are invited into my sacred space, hot damn with 100 billion people on the planet i have to have some space that is mine and mine alone! geez give a guy a break....
plus we gifted with that supreme superpower of being hypersensitive to sounds, sights as well as temperatures and smells ... keep your stinky self out of my space... the winds of change are blowing, can you take your odor downwind, please? who needs someone who reeks of _____________ fill in the blank here because smells are extremely personal. while some might find the scent of patchouli calming and lovely to me it stinks awfully bad. and of course we have those particular women who feel the need to envelop themselves in whatever that fragrance is that literally turns my stomach green and gives me a slam dunk poke me with a fork in the forehead, this major mondo monster headache takes only a few seconds from their vapor trail to my nostrils and BOOM!... whatever it is, they wear it like they bathe in the stuff... holy moly when you get into an elevator at the 49th floor with that kind of fragrance the doors open at the lobby and there is only the perpetrator standing among a sea of pea green victims lying scattered about upon the elevator floor like we were shot.. she knocked the heck out the rest of us. so for those us with super sensitive noses i say invest in nose plugs that swimmers wear and look out as this change will be assaulting you like your worst nightmare.
at about this point you are all thinking to yourself, who wants this mess? being hassled by loud people with cell phones.... having our personal space invaded and noses assaulted? where is the positive energy he is yacking about so far it's all super negative stuff... all of you who have chosen to read this today are old enough to understand that we need a clean sweep, and change never comes without a cost so grab a hold of that tree the winds have only just begun. there will be people who beyond feeling the above levels of torture, who will experience the more physical of the bodies assaults. we can add dazed and confused, disoriented, exhausted, drained, always hungry and thirsty or lacking even a small appetite..... tension in your neck and shoulders, throat and jaw.
although there is no trick to avoid this energy shift, we have to live through it, and being uncomfortable and feeling yucky is something we have all been through and we have made it through to the other side....i think or hello to Casper and thanks for the memories! the first step if you feel the physical sensations of this change is to let them happen, obviously if the pain in your body feels that intense have someone examine you to rule out serious illness, but i would doubt that you need me to tell you that. pain is one thing discomfort is another... as i am no doctor nor do i play one on TV, you have to "read" your body and own the way it feels when it is right and know the difference when it is not... we hold tension in our necks when we don't wish to see what is going on around us we tighten up and keep our heads focused in one direction, trying to avoid the mess of the cat eating the goldfish or the pile of dirty dishes about to cascade to the floor. many times we hold it tight to avoid conflict with someone in our lives who might be loud and pushy and overbearing and we force our body to accept the pain of whiplash other than telling that person where to go and how to get there... imagine a horse with blinders on.... now you are a horse... boy this guy is filled with wonder and joy today!.... it is only the visualization i did not call you a horse!.... tension in the jaw is our mind telling our mouth to say nothing... often if we tried to explain half the stuff we experience someone would call the loony bin.... ok not being politically correct here... strike loony bin, replace with "institution for people who subtlety will not be accepting changes around them." oy that was a PC way to say nut house...oops did it again.... a clenched jaw in times of need is just a physical way of your mind saying "shut up!".... the best way to ease that tension is to find someone else who understands that in times of radical change we do need to talk about what is happening. seek that person who "gets you" and will not call 911.... the shoulder tension is that feeling of each of us being our own version of atlas and holding them, cares, joys, sorrows of our immediate world upon our not so buff backs... as atlas held up the world so we believe we must carry it on our shoulders... surprise you are not atlas and the world will not fall apart if you stop wearing it like an accessory... "my what a lovely world you have on your back is that the western hemisphere? on no, sorry its a smudge of chocolate ice cream, here let me lick that off for you!"..... disgusting in so many ways... drop the world... trust me it will still survive without you becoming Quasimodo... sure you say easy for him he does not carry my burden... darn straight i am not carrying your burden i have my own world to let go... and once we do drop the world or as my beloved ayn rand did so eloquently stated in her most famous book. atlas shrugged ... conversation between francisco d'anconia and hank rearden. F-D'A " if you saw atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders-what would you tell him?" H.R. i.... don't know. What....could he do? what would you tell him? F-D'A "to shrug." to drop the weight of the world, enough is enough, somehow we need to drop it to shrug and let it come off our backs, it does not belong there... along with the rest- the tension the hypersensitivity, we are aware that our moods are bouncing like a bunch of dodgeballs ricocheting in every direction.... up down, right, left.... yes i am aware that they have since made it not politically correct to actually play dodgeball... and i could go on about how 'we' had to endure the pink rubber ball assault on those rainy gym days... and if you were not one of the "chosen" few who actually picked a team you might have been one of the last chosen since you were only human, and were not physically developed to adulthood at 7 and 8, mental cruelty, angst, physical beating... on and on...but i am not discussing that right now....
some days you are an emotional high riding that coaster with glee and laughter only to succumb to the lower forms of emotion, sadness, loss ... up and down around it goes where she stops nobody knows.. yes in the course of one day you might have sudden flare-ups of love and joy or deep regret and longings for the past.... for many pure hell... the kind of thing not everyone is comfortable talking about, and some tight-lipped and stoic will never reveal that they experience these at all. but experience them we must... part of becoming is letting go so those old hurts of the past, sad and bittersweet need to be taken down off the shelf we place them, and looked at as what they are, old loves, past longings, unfulfilled dreams... nothing that should harm you...if you see them for what they are, missteps, bad choices, or empty opportunities...nothing more.... if we have not learned anything when we get to this point in our lives we have to understand that the past is done, it can not be changed, altered, or done over... done, done, done...accepted and allowed to just be... the smart ones might learn a lesson from one of those missteps, the average not much... but as humans we will always move forward and have another chance at love, opportunity, adventure... if we learned from our past mistakes the outcome may be different the next time, if we didn't get the memo, we do it again...such is the human experience.... the trick to mastering the roller coaster of life, allow the emotion to just be... if you feel the need to laugh out loud do it, if you need to bawl and whimper... allow yourself that right... if you need to lay on the floor and beat the hell out of a pillow under each arm and scream at the top of your lungs do it, just make sure that you are alone or that you told someone you were going to do some wild and crazy things and to ignore the screaming, yelling and pounding, no one was harmed in this production... of "our town"..... by allowing the emotions to emote... you free yourself from the tension and tight neck, shoulder aching we just read about, so let the animal free.... just kidding, but do not bottle up your emotions or you will never get past wave one.... of the changes that come. if all that is not a circus of fun, we still have a few more to deal with... the energy fluxes... just like emotions the energy will be raw and exposed during a time of change... expect days where the gravity around you is so heavy that you feel like a 400 lb being sluggish, awkward, wobbling instead of walking, pulled down to the very core of the earth, pulling in air takes effort, moving is not ideal... and the best and safest place is your bed, before you melt down to the ground a bubbling mass of humanity... gross isn't it?... and the flip side you are a jackrabbit on espresso double shots running to and fro- achieving amazing feats in record time.... zipping around like you need to be tethered to the planet since if you moved any faster they would call you 'the flash' i know for me i would rather be a jackrabbit on expresso than a 400 lb paperweight my metabolism runs fast anyway so it's more of an organic state for me to bounce around and get things done like i really enjoy it... but like all things that are not supposed to be both of these states are alien to our balance, to maintain control of our lives we have to be a paperweight and jackrabbit combo... now available for a limited time with any happy meal... the jacklow... at once light as air and heavy as all get out!... for the average person maintaining a balance is a science all unto itself... some are brilliant and could teach old albert a trick or two, while others struggle to achieve a level of balance in any form...the ups are too up the lows are too low... many do need to seek help with this and i firmly believe that a chemical imbalance is a natural biological occurrence not good, not bad it is simply what it is. luckily there are really good ways to treat this, and you follow your heart if you are ok with medication then, by all means, go that route - if you prefer a holistic approach go that one.... balance is necessary if we are to achieve any level of growth and change, it is a preferred state when we are going through the daily grind and love of life, even more so when big changes are upon us.... so here you trust your instincts if your roller coaster is faster and more dangerous than normal seek assistance anyway that you can... just understand that at this time the ride will be rocky at best... but you have to understand your own levels of tolerance...winds of change are not either an excuse to jump off the deep end of the diving board only to find the pool is empty.. or to lay in bed for weeks and wallow in self-pity and rocky road... another unpleasant part of this change is that you will find yourself confused by the amount of sleep you need is 3 hours just right? or 12?... there will be times of both and neither might make much sense, after all, we are not going into hibernation here, nor are we functioning on so little sleep we endanger ourselves or others... waking up multiple times may be a symptom.... just as vivid or dramatic dreams can be another... one way to deal with these is to not fight them if you are wide awake at 3 am sit down read a book, or better yet use that quiet time to do some reflecting on where you are at this time in your life, obviously not the time to lay on the floor screaming and beating those pillows to death. but if you are comfortable keeping a journal it might be a good time to write about what it feels like to be wide awake at 3 am and what it will be like at 3 pm when you are passed out cold on your desk.. many people are not writers, if that is you, and you have more skill at recording how you feel via the use of your phone or computer camera, then do that... winds of change do not mean that you must conform to any set pattern that is alien to you.. following your instincts is always the best move to make, even if you might feel confused and out of sorts, your basic human instincts are designed as part of our DNA to help us cope...with many things change being one of them. do what seems natural for you, if that means waking at 3 am and pushing the pillows a bit and returning back to sleep do that, if it creates a wide awake sensation use the time, if you just wish to lay there and stare at the cracks in the ceiling you do that... not that it will help you in any way but sometimes we resist help so if you want to drag this process out longer than you need to, then do what you think is what you feel should be nothing...sure the growth will be slower and the transitions longer, and between us i would not want to drag this mess along any longer than it needs to be... but hey thats me, you are you do what fits you...
during all this when we think we are one person at 1 pm and feel like a completely different one at 1:15 pm...there is a compounded area that will either set you free from negative energy by letting go of the people around you that drain you and suck the life out of you aka energy vampires... or buy that one way seat to the "institution for people who subtlety will not be accepting changes around them!" i learned a long time ago that there are certain people in my life who are just plain toxic to be around, they are the ones who will push your buttons all the time, argue rather than discuss, and eat bags of snickers and hide the wrappers under your pillow... people that no matter how hard you try to understand them they are speaking chinese and you are hearing japanese... with help of professional demon trainers i was told in no uncertain terms that i must remove these people or kill myself.. there will never be a connection to what was once, it is now lost forever...sent to the sun and burnt to ash... the more time i spent in the company of these people the more i wanted to die... not drama but reality... we all have people like that in our lives and some might be very close to you and some might even be blood-related... in essence they have to be cut out like the toxins they are or you will fight for you daily existence - forget becoming a better person you are fighting for your life... get away do whatever it takes to let them go... they exist only to keep you confined and under control... toxic is what toxic does... remove yourself... toxic can mean many things to many people - there are abusers of the mind, the body, the spirit, the soul.... in every life there is always one or more and often in the pursuit of existence, they slither in and wreak havoc on our lives.. some people have a hard time believing this concept. wake up! - snap out of it!... if you believe in love and kindness you must accept that there is evil and hate... just as there is lightness and darkness they both exist so do the toxic and the loving...sadly are those who love the toxic.... they are doomed to suffer or to grow a set and get the hell away... living a life with a toxic is not living at all it is subjugation of our very existence... how many times do you need to hear "i am sorry i won't hit you again!" or "listen to me you just don't understand what i am saying" better yet " i know what is best for you, trust me!".... that last is a slayer... so grab some wooden stakes and go all buffy on that one!.... in an ideal world, we should have people of like minds, people we can talk to who understand us just as we are, unconditionally... no need to have to repeat who we are and what we want out of life, the people that matter understand that and believe as you that change is important and open dialogue is just that open, to debate, discussion, acceptance, tolerance and above all else a willingness to grow... so many toxic people are trapped into not wanting to better themselves or to advance in this lifetime...they are beasts trapped in the tar pits struggling in place too stubborn to know that if you stop struggling you can slip out of the tar, they would rather die in place than admit they are wrong...let them struggle in their own tar, do not let them drag you into it. for some letting go is an impossible task, they see no way out and as long as they see that there is no escape... but if you have had enough take it from barbra and donna... " we won't waste another tear, enough is enough, i can't go on, no more, no more now, i want them out that door now, tell them to just get out, pack their raincoat, and throw them out, look them in the eye and simply shout, enough is enough, i can't go on no more now! enough is enough, i've had it, no no more tears!" believe that you are important enough to own your own life, to be with people that understand you that believe in you that support you. that want to grow with you... only then will the toxic energy vampires be gone from your immediate surroundings... close to the end of your accepting of the winds of change you begin to sense that some part of you is missing and you want to connect with it and find that place to build a new life together, a sadness a memory of home and what it felt like to be loved by the people that you hold close to your heart, be they parents, grandparents, relatives of any connection, neighbors you loved and felt a bond with. anyone who was there for you when your inner self-was growing and needing love and affection, someone was there and only you know who. what home meant to you, it has so many different connotations that one word can explain that deep-seated love you felt at one time in your young self... home... you seek it, you long for it, you desire it.... and now you need to find it, again. you are older and what does home mean to you now? is it a place or a feeling? does it contain others? or are you alone in your home place?.... this is an inner journey one that will make sense to you, have feelings that only you understand...sure others may help in your search but only you know how right it is....only you can fill in the dots and make the picture of what home means to you... this can be a very painful time different than all the other ways the winds of change affect you, since this is so deeply connected to your soul... you need to take time and see what it looks like, smells like, feels like, what is home?...
i have avoided this word until now, for fear that you will prejudge my words from the direction i wish to present them, i am not a hippie dippie, knotting macrame hanging plant holders, while we sit singing kumbaya stoned off our asses and open to anything that will feed that hunger... for a chocolate layer cake. but someone living in the here and now... open to the reality that change is a wonderful thing once we get past the blockage and the negative energy that exists in our lives, i am the optimistic cynic... who places faith in doing not just talking about it... the word i have avoided until now is simply meditation... forget everything you have ever heard about it... what i would like for you is to take time block out whatever time you can afford in your busy life and sit in a place that pleases you be it a room or a beach or a forest or a meadow or a park bench... just allow your head to turn off the interior noise we always have... the laundry list of what needs to get done today or tomorrow, when ever- just allow the calm into your life ease you mind and relax your body, close your eyes if you wish or keep them open....just allow that quiet to become something you feel, and like it, do not fear it... guess what you can stop the second that you feel uncomfortable, that is why i hate that word it brings to many images into peoples heads... no images you are not doing anything but opening your ears to the sound of your own heartbeat, your own breathing - what more natural thing can i ask? these are your life-breath and heartbeat.. if you can feel the beat and hear the whoosh of air in and air out... give yourself the gift of time and allow the peace and quiet to surround you, who does not want that from time? no one, that is right it is a simple gift you can give yourself, a little quiet time in our hectic world...once you feel that you are comfortable doing these things listening to your body and gifting yourself time and peace and quiet, then you are no longer connected to words and meanings that are bothersome or negative... we are as natural as we can get so let the organic feeling of being alive become something that you gift to you... i ask no more, you stop when you have had enough, if today was a fine feeling and you would like to do it again tomorrow, then do it... if not then appreciate it for what it was... it would be better if you did, in fact, enjoy it enough to repeat it again... since the winds of change are going to happen if you are ready or not... by looking inside we might find that elusive place we long for that place of home... it is the way to move forward to being the better you along with the winds of change... but if you can find that piece that you call home sitting in front of some kind of distraction like music or lost in a novel... watching flames flickering, use your own tools i can guide you i can not journey with you... just to gain a sense of peace however you can locate the place inside that is home to you... do it go there... satisfy that longing and you are getting close to allowing the winds of change to not be your enemy to not blow you down but to carry you to lift you, to give you freedom from the past and all the negative that exists in it... if you feel that the wind is still strong for you take another's hand and help each other through the wind, ground your feet in the earth and help each other... change is not always an act that must be performed alone... if you wish to be a part of change then by all means do it with someone you love, like, care about... for me i know i will do it alone because this is my choice, for me i welcome the winds of change, to lift me off of the muddy earth and allow my wings to stretch out and to soar above the seas, the mountains the deserts, plains... to fly like an eagle to be one with the change to love it as it loves me... to not live in fear but in peace that change is good and adventure can begin the moment i decide, that after i am able to feel the wind through my wings i can land at the place i call home and be with the people that inspire me to be better, stronger, more capable.... a better version of me...not just different better... because what more could i ever ask for than to be the best version of me i can ever strive for.
tony
Comments