Love's First Confusion ~ Short Story

To pinpoint the year it started would be like defining the second of conception, since in my humble opinion, you are born with the genetic construction, no environmental factor or medical opinion has ever held any water. For Jake, it was more about when he first discovered it. Jake's discovery came in October of 1972 how do I know it was that precise, simply that is when Sears and Roebuck released the infamous Christmas catalog a tome that was 9" thick and contained everything and anything available for purchase by mail or at a local Sears store. Jake had stopped believing in Santa 2 years before when he caught his father struggling with the assembly of the 10-speed bike he begged and begged for. When questioned Jake's dad said that it was" his task to put together all the complex items for Santa." Jake didn't buy it, he knew that night that there would be no visit from a jolly old elf, his parents would reveal from their hidden stash all the loot found under the tree the next morning.

The arrival of the catalog meant that the season was about to begin his brothers and sisters devoured the toy section, slobbering over page upon page. It was the wild dreamland for children countrywide, every new toy was depicted in living color as well as the classics that you either owned or ever wanted. Jake no longer lusted after the same toys he would have been obsessed with years ago, he had so many already and nothing really caught his attention, he possessed all the sporting goods a 12-year-old would need. He had his beloved bike, the one true escape hatch to freedom for any boy his age. Jake knew he had to pick a few things so his folks would have something from Santa under the tree, but at 12 Jake was more interested in clothes and sneakers and the things that mattered, toys were for the little kids and he was no longer a little kid.

Puberty did not come early for Jake and the discovery of the few strands of hair under his arms was a source of great pride, he did, however, wish he had more down below, when he caught some of the older boys in gym class dressing he saw lots of hair in the places he wanted it more than anything. Time was going to deliver that when ready, there was no rushing puberty. Jake like every other boy just had to wait. He liked the very cool way the hair grew, when he saw the older guys he was so jealous they had bushes under their arms, not just a few wiry strands but masses of hair, and down below it was ever wilder, they had tight dark curly nests all around their guy parts but they also had man parts by then, some had big ones that would sway when they walked kind of like an elephants trunk, other guys had huge balls that swung like bells hanging down, shifting from right to left. Jake was crazy jealous when he took off his tighty whities, it all looked the same as it did when he was a kid, and he was becoming really obsessed that his guy parts would just stay the way they are. That made him more anxious, they have to grow sometime, he would pray every night.

Everything kind of happened at the same time, one of the younger kids left the catalog in the bathroom with the list they were constructing, Jake scanned the list and thought what greedy buggers his younger siblings were. Jake was just bored, so he flipped from the beginning and saw tons of super dull things then he came upon the men's clothing this was where he intended to pick out his gifts, and saw a lot of cool things that he knew he had seen at school already and he was going to fit into the well-dressed group they were always the most popular. Flipping through he made a lot of mental notes on what he wanted. Then it happened, and it was the most natural thing yet confusing thing at the same time. Jake got to the underwear section and as always he looked at the men and said I want to look like him, with his great haircut and amazing eyes and that perfect nose and those cheekbones and those white teeth, and square jawline. That is what a man looks like and since he was now seeing more of the male body exposed than he had ever seen before, he saw the mans square shoulders and his chest which was just right to fit his body not huge like those muscle men but in proportion to his lean body and his abs were so nicely defined and then he saw the tiny line of hair at the waistband and the bulge that was in the very skimpy shorts. These were the new trend for men the bikini style underwear and they were cut high on the thigh right to the hip so all Jake really saw was a man 99% exposed and then it happened as if by itself as Jake looked at the man's hips, thighs and legs down to his bare feet his own penis began to swell.

Alarmed he did not know how to react he wanted to be this man to look like him to be sexy like him, and it was then that he felt the erection larger and harder than he had ever known, he was not used to it getting hard, it was mostly at night when he was sleeping he would roll over and feel it swollen until it would go away. But here he was looking at it getting larger than he ever imagined and it was so hot, the heat radiating from his penis was something he never felt before. He looked at the photograph and he felt himself twitch and he knew that he had to touch himself since the sensation was overwhelming and he began to use his hand and within a very short period of time Jake released his first orgasm. Jake was unable to control the way he was feeling, his head was spinning it was so intense that as he tried to clean himself up the soft tissues felt like sandpaper on his sensitive skin, more than that the feeling of the orgasm shook him from his toes to the top of his head. Nothing had ever felt like that before and Jake was torn between feeling guilty that he just did something he knew was wrong and the incredible feelings that could not be compared to anything he had ever experienced.

The disturbing thought was that he knew what it was that caused the reaction and for the first time in his life Jake understood when he said sexy he felt the desire, all the times he saw an attractive man and caught himself looking and really studying the man. He tried to convince himself that is what he wanted to look like, when he was older. Then he would feel that unusual flipping inside of his belly from below his navel Jake always told himself that it was wishing to be, that man and nothing more. Jake knew since his penis was starting to go down after he closed the catalog. The sexiness of the man was what aroused him, that he wanted to be like him sure, but he wanted more, he wanted to touch him to feel what a real man's body felt like. This man was consciously arousing him for the first time he opened the catalog again and searched until he found the page, this time more keenly aware of the subtle differences in the man's skin and muscle tone and he began to get aroused again, but this time he was aware that he was not just looking at the man but he was imagining being that man, and being with that man, hearing his voice and watching him smile and Jake could only imagine what was hidden under the small piece of fabric, his imagination began to pull together all the boys he saw naked at school and he closed his eyes and saw the penis from one boy now on the man, and he imagined they would each touch the other just as he had done to himself to give each other pleasure that was so powerful and then Jake was touching himself again only now he closed his eyes and let his imagination take control of his thoughts as he touched himself and imagined touching the man the same way. Jake released his second orgasm not as powerful as the first, when he was caught off guard by what to experience, by the second one he now expected it and it was just as fantastic. Jake cleaned himself up and thought of either taking the catalog to his room or ripping out this page and throwing it away. This confusion was so perplexing what did this make him, now that he was aware of what excited him? and how will he fight the temptation to be aroused by the man's sexy picture again?

He heard about men who were aroused and desired other men and it was a sin in the bible and it was a terrible thing. Men like that were beaten up and killed for being perverted and sick, the guilt overwhelmed Jake firmly and he fought this unnatural desire and he ripped the page out of the catalog and tore it to a hundred pieces and placed it in the bottom of the wastebasket and then flushed the tissues. he needed to destroy all the evidence that he was this morally defective person.

Jake was very quiet that night at dinner, he felt that everyone could see his sin as if it was burned across his forehead. Fearing that his parents would hate and despise him, their oldest son one of those men everyone hated. When they asked what was wrong he just lowered his head and shoveled food into his mouth, he then excused himself and went to his room. Jake hated himself every step he took, there was no one he could talk to about this new experience and he thought it may just go away, or I will force it away, I do not have to be like this, I do not want to be like this! I have an idea that will push this out of my head for good, Jake knew his dad has some girlie magazines in his closet let me sneak one out of there and get excited by those pictures, and be normal again he thought. As silently as a cat burglar Jake swiped not 1 but 2 from the stack he knew his dad had hidden in the closet in an old shoe box. He stuffed them up under his shirt and took them back to his room, locked his door. He needed complete concentration to eliminate any of the thoughts he felt when he saw the man. This will solve the problem, he tossed them on the bed and stripped down to his shorts and began to flip through the first one. When he came to the first spread it was a beautiful blonde with big boobs and she was opening her legs and Jake saw everything from all the seductive poses she was showing. He began to study her and thought she is really pretty and he was tugging at his penis to get it hard, after a while it began to get hard as he slowly examined all her female parts the way her breasts were perky and the hard nipples which he did feel an attraction to and he followed the curves of her soft flesh so dramatically different than the image of the man he had in his mind, he was all tone and lean she is all soft and round and he examined her down below and looked at the hair that created the triangle and the openings within, he pulled and yanked as he looked and realized that it was more of his hand action that was creating a stir, the sight of her nude body was not creating the very hard erection he felt before, come on he thought think about what she feels like and touching her body and he was tugging and pulling and he was just not getting hard." Please god!" he said. "help me!" he lay back on the bed and slipped his shorts off and was away from the magazine and started to let his imagination take over, I am trying too hard he said I need to relax and let it just happen and as he closed his eyes she appeared in his mind and she was just as beautiful as in the pictures and she was moving her body and he was rubbing himself raw trying to get aroused when he said "it is not working, I really don't like her soft parts." and he started to fill his mind with a mans firm body and soon he was hard and in his mind he pushed her out and replaced her with the man from the catalog and his breathing increased and he was aroused and was soon pushed over the edge again. It's no use he thought I cannot get that man out of my mind and he excites me, I am doomed.

Jake became very withdrawn and he family noticed the change and began to worry, but his dad said Every boy goes through this kind of sulking phase in puberty his body is changing and he does not know what to make of it, I will talk to him." When Jake's dad pulled him into his room and closed the door Jake was not sure what to expect, his father had seen the magazines were disturbed from the box and knew Jake was experimenting with them. Just as he began to start the sex education talk, Jake was embarrassed and stopped him before he went any further. "Listen dad we did this in health class already I know about the birds and the bees and that my body is changing, so you do not have to explain it to me ok its just weird hearing it from you." Jake's dad was surprised they covered this in school, but was also relieved that he did not have to get too involved in the details, his father had explained things in such a way he was so confused until he was actually in college and met his wife and they began to do what came naturally and he laughed and she laughed at how awkward their own parents had been and how they left big chunks out. He was determined to explain to Jake and his other kids how it was supposed to be not how he was taught. He said to Jake "that if he had any questions he could always feel comfortable asking and he would do his best to explain the answers to him." Jake thanked him and said that he was " Ok, and yes if he had any questions he would ask." knowing fully that he could never tell his own father that he was a sick pervert and that he was attracted to men.

Winter passed just as every other winter passed nothing amazing happened and Jake would take his thoughts to the grave he said before he would ever let on that he was different and odd. He made sure that he dressed like everyone else and continued to play the sports he loved like every other teenage boy, he was determined to be normal. There were only those times when his thoughts would get away from him and he caught himself looking at an attractive man in town or in a movie or tv, that he would feel the action in his pants and he would try and fight it with every atom of his being no, no, no he would tell himself this is not happening.

For about 5 months he fought long and hard with his mind not to visualize a nude male while he fought his body and did not masturbate when you are 13 you think about sex every 5 seconds. Jake threw himself into his sports and did not shower at school and avoided the locker room after every game, he packed up his clothes and left in his uniform. He got his grades up by focusing as much as possible on school, read every book on the suggested lists, joined the school newspaper and just avoiding anything to do with his sexual problem as he called it, that existed inside his head. Jake had reached the sexually active time of your life when your testosterone is increasing by leaps and bounds. Jake was now very happy with the hair on is body, and what once looked like a penis of a 10 year old now became much more mature looking and it was growing larger and larger he felt that he was indeed changing and becoming the man he wanted to be, physically that is. There were still those nights when he was lost in his dreams he was deep in his subconscious self-did he allow his mind and body to become one. During those dreams, his body would react as his mind never allowed it to, and he would ejaculate from the pressure of not masturbating for months and his body needed to release. His deeper self would be where he could never be, in the arms of a man laying his head on the strong muscled chest he could feel a wholeness that his waking world could and would not allow. Often waking from these dreams, feeling a level of peace he did not understand or question on those mornings Jake was happy, he felt as if something right was finally happening in his life and for the entire day he relaxed. Of course those days were few since whenever he thought about how fantastic Tim looked in his uniform pants he would lash himself mentally and rip any thoughts to shreds just like he did with that catalog page. Jake had to behave like all the rest of the guys, he would roughhouse and act like a 13 year old and forget that he was different and even though it was always present Jake refused to allow it to consume him. I am a man not an animal I can control even the most intense desire, became his daily invocation. When he would pray each morning he would ask god to relieve him of this sin and would beg to be just a normal kid. Things never got easier, but it became a routine.

Spring became summer the school year ended and the family joined the pool club about 5 minutes drive from the house. Jake could ride his bike there and meet his friends it was a great place to spend hot summer days and when his buddies were looking for girls this was the place to meet. Jake was so used to going that he did not care if his friends soon found that there were girls for each of them, and they tried to set up Jake. He tried to date and went along for the ride, the movies, the bowling, the dinners, but when it came time to play the make out game Jake had no desire to get past the kissing game.

The summer had just started it was the weekend of the 4th of July so the pool was packed Jakes entire family were there along with just about every other family in town, it was a perfect summer day blue skies temperatures were in the perfect mid 70's Jake was off with his friends laying down in a lounge chair dark sunglasses on and just getting a tan, with his trendy yellow speedo's he was getting a nice shade of brown. His family was just setting up lunch and they sent one of the little ones to get Jake and he did not want to eat he was with his buddies who were just all getting ready to hit the pool and Jake was not into it. He closed his eyes and started to sleep in the sun, about an hour later he woke up and his friends were all sleeping too. But as Jake opened his eyes he saw what he only thought was a dream, walking toward him was the most beautiful man he had ever seen, he was tall and lean a swimmer for sure but with enough muscles to make them all perfect and in the right places. He was tan as only someone who is outdoors in the sun can get and the tiny red speedos hid nothing there was movement stirring under the thin nylon fabric as he walked the bulge in his bathing suit rolled with him and he had a casual gait of one confident in his body and his ownership of it. Jake was thankful for 2 things he was laying on his stomach so that the movement in his tiny yellow speedos was not seen and that he was wearing his dark ray ban wayfarers so no one could see where his eyes were locked.

The man was in his early 20's or close, a college guy home for the summer no doubt. Jake could not see much of his face as he too was wearing his dark ray bans, but the pieces he could see the smile that caused his heart to skip a few beats and the perfect nose and high cheekbones and square jaw so he could have been pretty but he was not, he was masculine and perfect, his shoulder-length brown hair was bleached blonde in many places and it was softly bouncing as he approached. It was then Jake noticed the whistle this was not just a guest at the pool this was a lifeguard and Jake's hardon was solid that he had to slip his hand down and adjust it before it popped out of the tiny bathing suit. The man was still walking his way and now was nearing the end of the pool and coming right towards him, literally right to him as he got closer his crotch was now right in Jakes face and he was only a foot away Jake watched as everything moved as the man did, then he did the unthinkable and Jake was about to have his brain explode his heart was beating so fast and loud he could almost hear nothing else. The man lowered down to one knee and said "Great shades buddy" and took his index and middle finger and gave a salute to Jake and then he stood up and began to walk past where the boys had set up camp and into the lifeguard station aka the first aid building. By this time a few of his buddies had woken up and said that it was freaking hot let's go into the pool, Jake was not going anywhere his hardon was still raging and there was no way that he was turning over on his back let alone stand up. ok, suit yourself was the consensus as the guys ran and jumped into the crystal clear cool water.

Jake did not know what to do, his mind was so far removed from anything alluding to the sexual problem that he was caught off guard and taken aback by the sheer sexiness of the man. Everything about the man was the stuff Jake dreamed of when he allowed himself to get lost in his dreams and here he was in the flesh not just a flat one dimensional picture but a real live version of everything he fought against. All his demons and he was a lifeguard at the pool where Jake spent every day of his summer, it would be an unbearable summer for Jake.

He saw the man 2 or 3 times that day and tried to avoid contact of any kind not understanding the feeling of the super loud heartbeat, the dry mouth, the sweaty palms. Jake was a mess when his family was ready to leave they packed it all up and as they were leaving the man stepped away from the crowd of other lifeguards the same ones that have been working the pool for years and said to Jake right in front of his entire family." Hey kid you got style!" and went to toss a fake punch at Jakes midsection, who did not know it was a joke and he folded himself in half, to protect himself. When the man said "lighten up buddy I wasn't going to hit you, see you around the pool dude!" Jakes parents laughed at the joke and Jake was mortified. The man of his deepest darkest fantasies was just goofing with his parents and laughing at him. That night Jake was tossing and turning he saw this man that upset everything in his entire system, he did not want to feel like this, he fought like a ninja all night kicking and chopping at his blankets until they were on the floor. When he woke up it was around 5 am the sun was not fully out and he sat at his bedroom window and stared at the trees and the garden below. Deep in thought, how do I handle what I am feeling? I am lost I can't speak to anyone and I don't know what to do, then he took a deep breath and said there are 2 ways this can go the way I want it go or the way I desire it to go, I can make the desire part not be a part of this, I can remove every thought in my head that this man is sexy that he is something that excites and arouses me. I can fight with every nerve in my body to make this feeling go away, it is wrong it goes against god and the bible and everything I believe in, I want a home and a family and I am not going to give into this desire that is something I can control. Jake began the day with a new resolve to not allow this to take over his life, it is my life after all and I do not have to say yes to something I want to say no to!

When he and his friends got to the pool they made the entrance that 4, 13-year-old boys make whenever they go anywhere, lots of noise and chaos. When the lifeguard saw Jake he went out of his way to say hello to one of the first people he was beginning to get to know at the pool club and Jake said "hey" and kept going. The lifeguard continued to go the direction that he was walking and just thought "kids."

The day became a strategy for Jake when the lifeguard had his time on the chair Jake stayed out of the pool when he was on break Jake went in, there were enough lifeguards so they were changing often so it was not a noticeable situation. Jakes buddies were into Jenny she had been at the pool club the last 2 summers and when they were too young to flirt with her they just stared at her from the pool or the lounges, now they were cocky enough to hang out below her chair and chat with her when she was on. At one point both of them were on he was on the right side and she was on the left, the other guys told Jake to come in and he just stayed on his lounge laying on his stomach working on his back tan, wearing his shades so once again no one could see where he was looking and to his utter anxiety there were about 4 girls all older than Jake who were doing to the male lifeguard that his buddies where doing with Jenny, serious flirting and although from where he was sitting all he saw was his back he could hear him laughing and joking with the young girls. Eventually, his curiosity got the better of him and he got up and walked around to the other side of the pool where Jenny was sitting he did not go into the water but sat at the edge of the pool where his friends were in the water goofing off like 13-year-olds do. He was staring at the pool from where he sat with his black shades on no one saw that he was watching the girls flirting with the male lifeguard. By now the girls had asked his name and Jake overheard it was Andy so he could watch him as he sat on the elevated chair like an ancient roman statue staring at the pool. Since Andy was wearing the same sunglasses as Jake he did not see where he was looking only that even while flirting with the girls he never took his eyes off of the members in the pool. Jake watched him intently against his better judgement and when he smiled and those white teeth shone so bright against his deeply tanned face and Jake studied his body and saw that although it was perfectly proportioned there were scars on his legs and forearms as well as his shoulder small not enough to be a turn off, in fact, they were more of a turn on since he was now less of a mannequin and more a flesh and blood man. Jake watched as he moved in the chair and every once and awhile he would adjust his suit and move around his parts, either they were getting hot baking in the sun under the red speedos or he could not sit still for too long. the guys did not see that Jake was not paying full attention to where he was and they grabbed him and yanked him from the edge of the pool by his ankles and pulled him in. "Damn it you guys." he said when he came up with his rays off center on his nose, as he adjusted them he heard a whistle and his buddies where being waved to by Andy who called them "Ok you 3 out of the pool" and he stood on the platform of his chair and motioned for them to come over to where he was. They all grumbled and Jenny laughed, when they walked over to where Andy was sitting Jake had pulled himself back out and sat on the pool edge again. He could hear them pleading that they were just playing and they did that all the time, and he could hear what that Andy was telling them, that it was against policy and that the kid could have hit his head on the side of the pool and they were told they were out of the pool the rest of his watch until he took his break in 45 minutes they grumbled. Walked over to the lounge chairs annoyed that they now were forced to sit it out for 45 minutes. Andy motioned for Jake to come around to his side of the pool and Jake got up and slowly walked as his friends were watching him from the deck. When he got to the chair Andy asked if he" Was all right?" Jake mumbled "Yeah he was fine." Andy motioned for him to come closer and he had to step up on the first level of the platform as Andy lowered himself down and asked "Are those guys bullying you? we can't have that it's against pool club policy." "No" Jake said "They were his friends and they just caught him off guard and that he was fine. Andy said " Although he is new to the pool club he is the lifeguard team captain so it is important that they follow the rules, and if anyone is caught roughhousing or bullying anyone he can throw them out, so he was just keeping an eye out." Jake said "No they were cool an that he will let them know." Andy said "I told them already so they know!" Jake said "Er can I go now?" Andy said sure and that if it "Happens again he will make sure that they sit out most of the day if he does not toss them out." Jake went over to the guys and said. "What the fuck why did you do that for, now this dude is going to be watching us all summer!" "He is just a dick head." They said. "Our parents pay his salary and he will get fired if he throws us out." I don't think this guy is one that is going to forget something so just be cool!" Jake said. When the shift change came it was time for the guys to head back in the pool it was getting kind of late and Jake checked his watch and it was 5:30 and he knew his folks were heading into town to see a movie and he had to babysit the kids. While the other guys all jumped into the pool Jake was gathering his stuff together and getting ready to leave. Stan asked, "Jake where are you going we have a few hours left before they shut down?" "I have to babysit the kids tonight my folks are heading into town to see a movie. I told them I would home by 6 and its getting close."

"Want us to come over after dinner? we can help you with the brats?" " Yeah cool come by like 7:30 maybe we can catch something on tv." Jake added.

"Ok dudes see you later" he was walking into the main building to hit the shower real quick to wash the chlorine off before he headed home.

Jake did not know that at the same time he was pulling off his speedo's and stepping into the shower that Andy was already in there. The most awkward moment came when Jake stepped in naked and saw to his shock a naked Andy, who was soaping off the parts of his body that were not tan. when he looked up as saw Jake he said "Hey dude you splitting early the pool is open for another few hours?" Jake was horrified and did not know where to look so he stared at the tile as the water came on.He wanted to cover up his own body and see everything of Andy's but he never even allowed himself to look in that direction. "My folks are going out so I am babysitting my kid brothers and sisters." he said with a tremble to his voice.

"That's cool, hey dude I am sorry about what happened out there but it is my job that no one gets hurt on my watch you know, dude what is your name, I am Andy." he was facing Jake and Jake had to turn towards the man. "I am Jake" he said and caught a glimpse of the full frontal of Andy who was washing out the shampoo from his long hair, Jake was too nervous to even worry about a hard-on he knew that he could not control it but it was not a problem since he was so uncomfortable, he quickly soaped off grabbed his towel and wrapped himself in it still dripping wet. "Jake dude I want to be friends so if I freaked out your buds I am sorry, I don't want them to hate me on my second day it's going to be an awesome summer man!" Jake was off to the side trying to slip into his shorts and shirt still dripping wet and he looked over and Andy was facing the wall and Jake was amazed by the deep tan that separated his pure white and perfect ass from the rest of his body. Andy turned off the water and stood to stand proudly nude and talking to the flustered Jake as if it were the most natural thing. It seemed like forever till he grabbed his towel and started to dry his hair. Jake was able to see everything and he was impressed Andy had what Jake could only imagine was the perfect set of man parts totally unlike the guys at school who were still high school guys this was a man and everything just seemed to fall into proportion with Andy's body his penis was not circumcised so it did look like the statues Jake had seen at the museum on the Greek and Roman statues and it looked like it was carved in marble also mostly white compared to the rest of Andy's body, but not white at all it was creamy and colored with the lines of the veining that the statues only showed as raised areas not in color. Jake was mesmerized and did not want to stop looking at Andy's beautiful body and how the bathing suit left such beautiful parts their natural color while the rest of him was this nut brown color, but as he watched him pull the towel from his long hair he stopped staring. "I bet you are wondering how come I am splitting so early? I have a hot date tonight with this chick I have been trying to nail for the last 6 months, we are heading out to the drive-in and once we get into the backseat she is mine!" Andy boasted as he flicked his towel at Jake who was still standing in the locker room shower with the impressively naked Andy. Jake was not fast enough to get out of the way and he got a slap with the towel. "Hahaha sorry lil dude I didn't mean to hit you so hard, let me see it?" Andy asked as he lifted Jakes shirt on his own and touched the red spot on Jakes stomach just above his left hip. The skin trembled as Andy tapped it lightly it was just a little red spot where the towel struck Jake, but the feeling of Andys hand across Jakes skin caused goose bumps to rise. Andy stepped back and lowered Jakes shirt. "You will live, its just like a skeeter bite you will not even notice it in about 10 minutes, shit speaking of time I better move my ass its getting late!" Andy leaned over and slipped on his faded jeans and grabbed a white t-shirt and went over to the mirrors and started to towel dry his still wet hair. Jake said "I have to go too it's late" and he turned to go and Andy reached him by the arm and turned him and "Sorry about the towel bite, I didn't realize how close I was when I snapped you, lil dude, I am sorry I did not want to get off on the wrong foot and since you are like my first friend I have here, let's shake and start fresh? Ok ?" He extended his hand. "Hey Jake my name is Andy great to meet you!" Jake took his hand and smiled and said." Hey Andy good to meet you welcome to the Prospect Pool Club!" Andy pulled him in and gave him a small hug "That is to new beginnings, Jake man, tell your buddies I am a nice guy and not a total douche?" Andy said as he turned back to the mirror and started to comb his hair back off of his face. "Sure thing Andy" Jake said as he left the mens shower and went to his bike.

Once his folks left Jake was in a sullen mood the more he kept thinking about how sexy Andy is and the fact that he is having sex with some girl really kind of bothered him he did not understand why, when his friends came over they all were tired, a day of sun and swimming knocks you out and they were a mellow bunch even the kids went up to bed without a fight, when Jakes folks came home the house was really quiet as the 4 teens were all passed out all over the living room like teens tend to take over a space, they slowly woke up each boy till they were all kind of groggy, when Jake's dad said. "Come on I will drive you guys home." Even though they all lived within walking distance he still wanted to make sure each boy got to his own home.

Jake dragged himself up to bed pulled off his shirt and shorts and even his new very cool bikini underwear that he got for christmas, and stopped and looked at himself in the mirror and saw his own tan line, not as much of a contrast yet but he turned and looked at his pure white ass and then turned fast to swing himself around and watch his man parts slap against his thigh. Nice, he thought they are actually bigger than Andy's , once he did that it was impossible for the cool night air touching his warm skin to not have a reaction. Though Jake made it his task to ignore his male parts especially when they started acting up like this but tonight he was not going to ignore them and he began to touch himself and felt the tingling all over his body and he was ever so gentle, he closed his eyes and was alone in the shower with Andy and he watched as the older man took his parts into his hand and began to stroke it. The reaction was so intense for Jake as he in his own mind reached to touch Andy's body under the warm water and he was so excited his experience did not last long before his very sensitive penis was ejaculating and Jake was moaning like he had never done before. The orgasm was so intense since he had not touched himself for months, he felt like it would never end. When he was done he tried hard not to feel guilty about what he had just done and what he was thinking about while he was doing it.

The summer moved along at a nice clip and Jake and Andy soon became friends so much in fact when Andy asked Jake's parents if they would mind if Jake became a lifeguard trainee, they were really happy. Knowing that Jake was both a reliable and responsible young man and that it would excellent for his college applications. Besides Jakes folks like Andy, ok his hair was too long but it seemed to be a very good influence on Jake. The ones who were not so thrilled at Jakes new position were his friends, who did not like to lose one of their own to be a puppy following the lifeguard captain around and doing whatever he was told. Jake himself was super excited since his crush for Andy was soon replaced with a deeper respect as they got to know each other, Jake was invited into the exclusive club of lifeguards and since he was a member he was always there so he began to hear all the details of the lives of the much older men and women. As well as the gossip that only the lifeguards share, more than one of the older guards were sleeping with the wives of the pool club members. Jenny it seemed was also not what she appeared, since all his friends were gaga over her Jake could never share the secret that she was a mother and had a 2-year-old from a boyfriend when she was 16, and was not concerned with horny teenage boys but was dating the owner of the Chevy dealership, which is why she was driving that sexy camaro. The only thorn in Jake's side was the fact that he knew that Andy was having a great time with his summer fling Lisa after their drive-in date he did what he boasted about and it seemed to Jake that Andy and Lisa were doing it everywhere. Andy would poke Jake in the ribs with his elbow if he got lucky the night before and right now Jakes ribs were black and blue under his tan. And Andy was determined that his protege was going to lose his virginity that summer.

The opportunity came when Andy asked Jake to a party one of the guards was having a full moon swim pool party at the home of one of the members it was Mrs Grayson, she was in her early 30's and was going through a divorce and she lived in one of the largest homes in town away from neighbors and she was already sleeping with Danny one of the other guards. When they decided to throw a full moon swim party it was a private invite to all the guards and all of Mrs Grayson's own open-minded lifeguard loving friends. Andy was excited Jake was nervous he had never been to a party where there were adults without his folks. When Andy asked them if they wouldn't mind if Jake when to a party that one of his professors was having and that it would be easier if Jake stayed with they guys at Andy's dorm since it would be late when they got back. They agreed and thought what a fine respectable man this Andy was. Jake packed up a bag and went off into the night with Andy and Lisa, who was already sitting in the car when the guys walked up, she was not sure why Andy was hanging with this goofy 13-year-old I guess he has a brother complex she thought. He always liked to be in control and he had this kid worshiping him so it satisfied his need for control. She was not fond of the idea but since the 2 of them hanging at the pool never really affected their relationship she was not going to make an issue with Andy he was the sexiest guy she ever dated. "Hey kid" she said when they got back to the car and Jake was "Hey" back he knew that she was going to be with Andy but it still kind of got under his skin after all, she was ok not the type of girl that a guy like Andy could get with the snap of his fingers but according to Andy she was terrific in the sack and did whatever he wanted so that gave her 2 thumbs up.

As they pulled into the long drive Jake knew the house, it was pretty far from his neighborhood of tract houses it was in the area where the rich people lived the country club members, not pool club members, when they pulled up the lights were all on and the music was coming from the rear and all 3 of them were like wow this is some house. Jake thought it looked like a house from a movie he did not think people really lived in places like this, but it seemed Mrs Grayson did. Big was just a word, and modern was just a word when you put them together you had the Grayson place, huge walls of glass and high wooden ceilings and lights everywhere from the front you could see right to the pool area and the party was in kick-ass mode by the time they got there. You could tell it was going on for some time by the way the bartenders and waiters were cleaning up the plates and glasses all over the place. There were about 60 people who were laughing, drinking, smoking, swimming in the back of the huge house. Danny was looped since he came right from the end of his last shift at 7 and it was now 10, he stumbled over and said "Hey buddy." To Andy and called Jake squirt and said hello to Lisa, then he shouted "Claire, where are you here are some good friends of mine from work this is Timmy, the little one is Jack and I don't know the chicks name!" Claire it appeared was Mrs Grayson and she was a very attractive woman in her early 30's but could easily pass for her 20's, wearing a bikini bottom and nothing else but a few gold necklaces and bracelets. The 3 new arrivals were kind of stunned to see the hostess of the party without clothing and Lisa blushed. Andy introduced them properly but it seems Claire was on the same boat as Danny and just dismissed them and said if they want a drink the bar was over there, if they wanted some grass it was by the pool house and if they wanted food it was everywhere. Jake kind of froze so far things were just too far out for him, he had never had a drink except for a beer to taste every once and a while from his dad, if they had a bbq or something going on at the house, his folks were not smoking, drinking, kind of people they went to church like they were supposed to and dragged their 4 children along to listen to the priest tell them what sinners they were. Andy was no stranger to weed and booze but he could not make up his mind he knew that he had to keep an eye on the kid so he couldn't get too wasted but they did have all night and his goal was to get the kid laid, there were plenty of women as well as younger girls who were checking out Andy. Lisa was not too thrilled at all the attention he was getting but she had to accept it when she dated someone as good looking as Andy. She wanted a drink so she went to the bar and hit it hard, with tequila, she did not know Andy's plan to get the kid laid so she was going to have fun no matter what other woman wanted her man.

Andy decided that if the kid had never gotten high then this might be the best way to loosen him up and relax right now he was so tightly wound up. "Jake buddy when I hand this to you do just what I do ok, pull in the smoke and hold it in for as long as you can then blow it out the trick is get it into your lungs and keep it there, got it?" Andy took a big pull from the joint and it was strong stuff he held it as long as he could but blew it out with a huge cough. He passed it to Jake who copied everything but did not cough he let it just flow out of his mouth as if it were air. "Awesome buddy, you should be feeling something after a few more hits like that." Then Andy took the joint and pulled them away from the others so they could just have it for themselves. After a few hits Jake was feeling kind of rubbery and was laughing at everything he was seeing, Andy thought cool he is enjoying himself now, he scanned the area and did not see Lisa but he saw plenty of really sexy women of various ages and they were all checking him and Jake out. "This is it buddy pop goes your cherry!" He laughed, Jake fell over laughing so hard having no idea what Andy was saying, but feeling so relaxed he was able to not be nervous around his older friend and was just relaxed and happy. Andy motioned to 2 women that were topless and just getting ready to get high. "Ladies, right this way." he laughed and they knew he was feeling pretty loose, so the older one just started kissing him and they were soon getting really into it, when the other one took hold of Jake and did the same, he was feeling so good it did not matter who was kissing him. The younger girl opened the pool house slider and lead the 4 of them into the space already filled with other couples doing just about everything and anything. She cleared a spot on the floor and pulled Jake down. Within a few minutes Jake was doing things with this girl that he had never done with his old girlfriends and was just so into it he looked over and Andy was getting his clothes pulled off my the older woman and they were just as naked as everyone else in the open space Jake was naked as well and the girl laid him on his back and began to place his male hardness into her and Jake was loving the way it felt. She rode him and he would open his eyes and see her, look over at Andy who was between the older woman legs and doing the same thing and Jake was imagining that he was with Andy and feeling everything that he was feeling he closed his eyes and it was him and Andy and before long Jake started to yell and within a few moments he shot everything he had into this total stranger and was loving it because in his mind he was giving everything to Andy. The girl continued to ride Jake as he was not losing any feeling but just was enjoying it as she kept doing it she was moaning now has she rode on top of Jake and he felt what could only be described as a second coming! and he exploded again. "Oh my god!" He shouted as he felt the second rush take him, by surprise Andy looked over and was busy pounding the woman and saw that his buddy was getting a ride of a lifetime. The girl got up took Jakes hand and she ran with him to the pool where they jumped in naked. The sex the warm water, the music the lights the girl swimming up against him was too much and Jake was laughing and whooping at the top of his lungs and did not care if anyone else was nearby or they were completely alone.

The girl said her name was Cary or Carly he did not care he just wanted to taste her sweet kisses again. Within a few minutes Andy and his older woman jumped into the pool as well and they were all just laughing and flipping with the lights and the music. Jake started kissing her again and again and said to Andy taste this and he lead her to him, where Andy kissed her as well and said dam Jake she is like honey, here taste mine and within seconds Jake was being kissed and caressed by the woman that had just been with Andy. She said her name was Lori and she had her hands all over him under the water and soon he was hard again and before he knew it they were doing it in the pool and Andy and the girl swam up to them and began to do it was well now the guys were next to each other and they were sticking it to the 2 women and they were in ecstasy this was Jake's 3rd go round and Andy's second and at one point Jake took his hand off the woman and started to stroke Andy's back and lowered his hand to is white ass and Andy was lost in the moment that he was just enjoying the feeling of having his ass rubbed he did not know it was Jake doing it. Jake slipped his hand even lower and stroked Andy as he was slipping in and out of the girl and he cupped Andy's balls as Andy let out his own roar as he emptied them into the girl Jake was loving the way the woman squeezed her thighs and pulled him even tighter and he too let out a wild yell!

Jake pulled his hand back as he was having his own orgasm and Andy never knew that Jake was stroking and cupping his balls as he came in the girl. "Damn I am so hungry!" said Jake and Andy laughed and splashed water in his face, which lead to water from Jake and the two began to rough house in the pool. The one girl Carly had gotten out of the pool and from this huge basket of towels was handing them to the 3 others as they all stepped out of the pool. Andy ran it over his head and let it drape over his shoulders letting his lower body just hang out so Jake did the same thing and they went to find food.

Lisa found both guys naked with just a towel draped over their shoulders, and laughed since she was just on 1 drink she could tell they were wasted and led them to the food. Jake was soon piling food on his plate and not even sure what it was at one point he just placed his plate down on the table and started shoveling the food going ohhh and ahh, it was the best food he had ever eaten Andy was no better as Lisa placed food on his plate he was just eating as she placed it...

"Ok boys I think you need to drop those towels around your waists as you have been naked for a long time and people who are also naked are looking at you like you are dessert." Lisa helped both guys with their towels and saw that Jake was quite a big boy for his age...hmmm she thought I can get some of that before the night is over. Andy whined that he had to cover up so Jake whined as well and Lisa was sure that she could get them stoned again and have them both and was very excited by the idea. She thought how cute Jake was Andy's lil brother and did everything his 7 year older brother would do. After the boys ate and drank everything she placed in front of them she asked where their clothing was, neither guy was sure or really cared as they were now flashing everyone that walked by getting whoops an all rights from just about everyone who was near. At one point Jake grabbed Andy by his genitals and said "Nice ain't they to a woman walking by" Andy was not phased and started to roll over laughing which only caused Jake to do the same till Andy ripped off Jakes towel and yelled "hey ladies get a load of this and he pulled Jake's penis up into the air, my boy aint a virgin anymore." Jake was hysterical laughing and Lisa questioned" What did you say" to Andy? "Lisa my boy dipped his stick 3 times already tonight he lost his baby fat!" Andy was hysterical and rolling while he told her. She then asked Jake "is it true you had sex 3 times in the last hour?" Jake threw his arms around his buddy and responded "What he said!"... and he went to hug Andy who hugged him right back. "This is the best older bro a guy could ever want!" and he laid his head on Andy's shoulder. "Did you love it dipping your big stick into that hot spot?" Andy asked "Fuck yes! I want to do it all the time but it has to be with my older bro right there it made it a million times hotter!" Andy tousled Jake's wet head and said" I love this kid like my own" Jake said. "I love you too Andy! really I do!" he slurred not feeling his own teeth. Lisa said ok enough you 2 we need to get you boys high again... this time I want to play!"

They lead her back to the pool house where they remember something happened before all this. Lisa grabbed a passing joint and said come on boys back over here. She took them around back of the pool house where there were some cushions already tossed on the ground obviously some others has the same idea. She sat them down and they started to toke away and Jake was now and expert and he was holding his breath until he forgot that he was still holding it Lisa had to tickle him to breathe... "Hey" he said "That tickles" She said. "Really?" as she handed the joint to Andy. "How about this?" She began to tickle him all over and he was rolling around the cushions naked and starting to get aroused again. "Holy shit." Lisa said. "This kid had it 3 times and he is ready to go again!' She watched as his erection slapped against his flat tan stomach, just past his navel. "Lem me see?" and Andy got real close and lifted Jake's hardon and let it slap against his stomach. "Nice sound, we could make it a drum, and he kept lifting Jake's hard dick. "Yup he is ready to go, what do we do with him?" he asked puzzled. "He is ours now." Lisa said and she took Jakes very erect penis and started to kiss it and lick it Jake was moaning and rolling around since this was the first time anyone ever did this and he was loving it. Lisa asked Andy if he wanted to try it and he was like" No I never did that before!" "Ok" she said. " So I guess you are not as brave as I thought who is going to know but me, besides I thought you love your little buddy?" She taunted. "Jake is wasted he can't tell if its you me or a cow." She laughed. "I do love my little buddy, he is a great kid and look at that dick, its like 2 of mine stuck together!" Lisa teased him. " It looks delicious to me but you are afraid of it." "I am not afraid of it, but it's kind of big and red, but I am not hungry anymore." Andy protested. Lisa said. "Then I guess it's all mine" And she went down on Jake. Andy was laying with his face on Jakes stomach watching Lisa doing him and he was getting excited. "ok do me now and he presented his hard on to her!" where she took it and began to do what he was just doing with Jake. Andy was moaning and Jake was like what happened? He opened his eyes and he saw Lisa licking and sucking on Andy and when she saw him looking she said. "Want to try?" he was like "Fuck yes." She showed him what to do Andy had his eyes closed and just noticed for a second as everything stopped but then it started up again and it was hotter and wetter than he just imagined, he opened his eyes and said. " Wow my boy Jake is doing me like that wow, insane!" Lisa said." see he is not afraid to do it like you are, in fact I think he likes it." "Stop saying that, I am not afraid I have one and I am not scared of it, let me try it now! " Andy demanded. she shifted her body so both of the guys could suck each other, Jake was loving every second of Andy in his hands and mouth. Andy slowly got close to Jake and began to lick and then suck like Jake was doing so well to him. Lisa was getting more excited watching the 2 friends going down on each other, she ripped off the rest of her clothes and pushed Andy away from Jake and slowly lowered herself on his large young penis. She sighed as he was slipping in and out of her and the feeling was insane Andy was watching up close as Jakes big penis was entering his girlfriend and it was hot to watch he reached out and placed his hand on Jake so he could feel him thrusting into his girlfriend."See I am not afraid at all I like it too!" Andy slurred. Within a few minutes Jake was screaming and burst forth yet a 4th time in one night.

Andy began to lick Lisa with Jake still inside of her she began to scream herself and soon was feeling the waves of intensity with Jake still hard as a rock inside and Andy licking and sucking her sensitive spots. Once she was done she pulled off of Jake who was still very hard. and Andy went to town on Jake again licking up everything that was on his huge hard dick, he stopped and said to Lisa." My turn." and he began to enter his girlfriend. Jake was coming down from the intense pleasure and began to lick and kiss the muscles on Andy's body as he was plunging into Lisa. He was loving the freedom to touch Andy anywhere he wanted without being worried that his object of desire would tell him to stop. He was tasting the sweat that he had watched rolling off Andy for weeks as he sat on the chair and now he was licking it off of him. Jake was high on the weed and the euphoria he was experiencing having just had sex with Lisa and now really loving that he had access to Andy, he went down below and grasped Andy as he slipped in and out of Lisa, he liked the way it felt to be inside but he did not like the way it looked how she seemed to devour Andy with every thrust. He all of a sudden started to get ill and his head was spinning and he leaned away from them and puked a good portion of whatever he shoveled into his face a short while ago and he laid back on the cushions holding his spinning head and his violent stomach he did care one bit what was happening a few feet away Jake was sick and only wanted the spinning to stop and his stomach to feel better. Andy was reaching his climax and was rubbing Lisa where she loved to be rubbed and she too was excited and then after a few seconds they both gasped and had their orgasms. They lay exhausted and collapsed on the cushions they did not even look for Jake who was laying near their feet. Eventually Andy fell asleep and Lisa opened her eyes and saw Jake laying holding both his head and stomach on the edge of the cushions. "Jake" she called out and he just moaned a reply "Jake are you ok? you look sick!" She asked sitting up. "My head is spinning and my stomach feels like someone hit me with a bat!" she got up and told him to just stay there, it would pass once his head stopped spinning, his stomach should feel better. Andy was snoring and she leaned and kissed him, Jake just take it easy we can just rest here no one will bother us she went over to the kid and stroked his head. He was a good kid she thought no wonder Andy took him under his wing. Jake soon fell asleep and shortly Lisa did as well.

No one knew they were behind the pool house as the party was breaking up after the sun rose the house was a wreck the pool was filled with floating clothes and towels and cups and plates, and Lisa was the first one up he shook Andy. "Hey baby get up, the sun like it is morning" She was getting into her clothes since they were with them where the guys clothes were she had no idea but they will have to find them since the keys to the car were with Andy's jeans. He grumbled something as he started to open his eyes. "Where the fuck are we?" and where are our clothes? We are behind some chicks pool house and I have no idea where your clothes are when I found you 2 you were stark naked with towels around your necks and nothing else. " Where is Jake?" He asked. Knowing they took the kid with them she pointed down to his curled up body on the cushions. "Shit he is naked too, I can't take him home like this, I have extra clothes in the car but for me not for him, I don't think his folks are going to dig me taking their kid home naked. "Jake get up dude hey Jake?" he called out to him. Lisa said that she remembered that he was sick last night and the pool of puke was right there. Andy got up and gently nudged Jake "Dude come on man are you okay? wake up buddy!" Andy asked.

Jake grumbled very much the way Andy did and opened his eyes and saw that he was naked and got super embarrassed, as he and Andy were naked while Lisa was dressed. "What happened last night?" He asked to no one in particular." Well after we had sex you got dizzy and said your head was spinning and you puked, no doubt shoveling all that food down your throat dude you were so wasted." Lisa said. "What, I can't remember anything we went to a party it was this nice house then I am waking up without my clothes, and I can't remember anything!" Jake protested. " Don't sweat it kid, I can't remember shit from more than half the parties I have been to hey dude toss me that towel!" Andy asked. Jake saw there were 2 so he grabbed a damp towel threw it to Andy and wrapped himself in the other, he was blushing bright red. "Dude don't be embarrassed you got some awesome equipment there, wow! you sent me to the moon!" Lisa said smiling at his embarrassment "What do you mean by that?" Jake asked puzzled "Jake man you fucked me like a pro last night and from what Andy said you did it 3 other times, dude you don't remember it?" He had this blank look on his face, he looked at Andy "If Lisa said you did, I am pretty sure that you did, so you lost your cherry after all, it will come back to you, but seriously we need to find our clothes."

The 3 of them came from around the back of the pool house and some woman called out for " Mrs Grayson there are 3 more over here." Claire Grayson was wearing a robe and dark sunglasses drinking a massive mug of black coffee, and told the 3 that the cleaning crew were going through the stuff and making piles of clothing that no one seemed to belong to and they led them to a table where both boys found there stuff folded. They said thank you to the people cleaning up the mess and started towards the pool house to get dressed, when Mrs Grayson called out "Boys after what we all saw last night there is no concern about you getting dressed right here!" she laughed and Lisa laughed as well. Andy chuckled and Jake was horrified and turned beet red! "Oh sugar you have nothing to be embarrassed about if god was given out cocks you got in line twice and you are young 16? when you are done that is going to be a lady killer!" Claire Grayson joked, but Jake was still mortified "I am very sorry ma'am if you saw something that was not supposed to be seen, I was kind of out of my head last night" Jake apologized. "Jake lil buddy you and Andy were more into head last night than out of it." Joked Lisa "What do you mean by that crack?" Asked Andy feeling a bit shitty since he obviously was not in his own head either so he was not doing a great job of being a positive mentor to Jake. Lisa made this gesture with her tongue and finger and Mrs Grayson laughed. "Really I would have loved to have seen these 2 giving each other head 2 very handsome young men, grrrrrrrr!" She growled. "Thats a lie I never sucked a dick in my life, and never Jake I am like a brother to him, you are out of your mind Lisa and don't go spreading shit like that around the last thing a guy ever wants is to be called a fag! You just insulted both of us and from what is coming back to me Jake was sticking it too a few women last night and so was I, so don't start shit lies or seriously we are through!" Andy was furious."Honey its 1973 it's nothing if you and the boy sucked each others dicks, lots of famous guys are doing it all the time, I heard that Bowie and Jagger were caught once doing each other it is no big deal, shit half the guys last night didn't even know where they were sticking things, don't worry about it if you boys a queer you are welcome to my parties anytime!" Claire Grayson stated. "Lisa explain that Jake and I are not queer and that we did not do what you said! seriously Lisa, this is not funny a story like this will spread like a fire and none of my friends will talk to me and they will toss my ass out of the frat for sure if not even the university, and think about Jake he is just a kid you slap a label like that on him and he is dead at school. They will beat the shit out of him everyday, do you want to ruin our lives?" Lisa was quiet she could tell that Andy was serious and that he was not kidding and everything he said was the truth. "Sorry Mrs Grayson I was just kidding the boys never touched each other it was just a wild fantasy I was playing a joke teaching these boys to not get so wasted at a party, that they can't even remember what they did, sorry if you got caught up in my story, but they are right nothing happened!" Lisa tried to smooth it over but the seed was already planted in Mrs Grayson's head. "Well if you boys ever want to have sex you are more than welcome to have it here, in my home we do everything just as we please, and damn I would love to see the 2 of you hot and sexy together. Hmmm I thought my Danny was the sexist lifeguard at the club but you baby make my Danny look like chopped liver! You darling boys are welcome back anytime and you Jakie you have been blessed with one beautiful piece of meat, any man or woman to get a hold of that is sure lucky, I know that you are only 16 come back when you are 18 and let me get a closer look!" Claire Grayson laughed and started calling "Danny where are you?" and she walked away.

The boys at this point just meekly turned from each other and slipped their jeans under the towels pulled them on an buttoned them and then they tossed the towels on the pile the crew was taking care of. "Lisa I am fucking going to kill you are you out of your fucking mind telling Mrs Grayson shit like that you know she is fucking Danny and Danny has been after the guard captain position for the entire summer trying to outdo everything I do, he goes back with a story like that I am done. who the hell will ever hire me to watch a pool again let alone be the team captain, besides everything I told you before you might as well take everything and just hand it to Danny right now, you better hope that she does not tell him!" he was glowing red under his tan. "Oh will you lighten up she took every word I said as it was just a joke she will have a fantasy in her mind for a few weeks at least thinking of you 2 and why did she keep saying Jake was 16?" she asked. "Sometimes I swear you are so fucking stupid, do you think even she would let a 13 year old get laid at her house? besides being a fucking moron you are a double fucking moron!" Andy was super pissed off. Jake said nothing because as she was talking he had a flashback of having done a lot of weird things last night and maybe she was telling the truth, he knew that given the chance he would never say no to getting closer to Andy, but she had to be lieing Andy would never take him into his mouth, guys like Andy would never do that, he was not what did she say "queer" like me.

The drive back to Jakes was silent no one wanted to talk and no one wanted to hear another voice. When they pulled up to Jakes home Andy wanted to walk him to the door and tell his folks that he was ok, but Jake said it was early and they were probably still sleeping. Jake got out and walked up the drive as Andy pulled away without so much as a see you later kid. When he unlocked the door he went up to his room the house was silent even the little ones were still sleeping which was odd for a saturday morning when they got up with the sun grabbed a box of cereal and watched saturday morning kids tv. Jake was glad since he really did not want to talk to anyone he felt disgusting sleeping naked all night and he smelled so very odd things he did not understand smells were filling his nostrils and he did not know what they were. He could not wait to get into the hot shower and soap up. He was still really tired since it was early and his mouth tasted like the smell of an ashtray, his hair stunk like smoke and once the water hit him it was like the filth of a century was cleansed from his skin. As he soaped up his "dick" this was a new word and he liked it the soap kind of stung like he had rubbed it raw at one time. All that talk among the older people about how huge he was made him feel kind of proud and it started to rise but it was not feeling to great to touch it, so he actually let it be and let it go down on his own, it was also strange that there were other darker and curlier hairs in the drain that were not his. He could not seem to get clean enough he washed his long hair a few times and it still smelled like smoke and when he soaped up his own pubic hair the strange smell was like 100 x's stronger it was an odd fishy kind of smell and he did not like it but that too was not coming out of his pubic hair, so he just kept on washing and rewashing until he was literally scrubbed raw and even his fingers had that same smell which the heavy duty soap was not getting rid of. Jake was done drained emotionally and physically and passed out the second he hit the sheets. Once he was dreaming things began to flash in and out of his head things Andy had said and done and things he followed like the taste of the weed was one thing he remembered and that he was able to keep in his lungs longer than his older more experienced friend. The deeper he slept the more things seemed like a strange movie he was watching and a part of at the same time. Jake began to regain many of the lost details like when he had sex for the first time all of it was coming back, as his head cleared the visions were sharper and had more details he remembered the young pretty dark haired girl and how insane it felt that they did it more than once and then he remembered the older woman who squeezed him so tight that he exploded inside of her. and then the first disturbing thing flashed he remembered stroking Andy's back and ass in the pool while he was having sex with the pretty young girl and he was with the older woman and he felt Andy's dick and balls as he fucked the girl till he felt them get rock hard and Andy had yelled with release. One by one the things came back like walking with just the towel on his shoulders and then eating everything till the point of throwing up and then it did come to his mind's eye that when Lisa was sucking and kissing Andy's dick she handed it to him and he loved how it felt in his mouth pleasing his mentor and best friend, Lisa was sucking his dick and then Lisa changed to a more powerful and exciting sucking on his own and he opened his eyes and he and Andy were each sucked the other and Andy was better than Lisa and he did not want him to stop but then it changed and Lisa was riding him and he had an orgasm again and this time Andy was squeezing his balls till he came. The last thing he remembered was licking the sweat off of Andy's body while he fucked Lisa and then he went down and stroked Andy again. He woke up with a start and sat up in bed holy shit it is all true we did suck each other and do other queer things to each other. Holy fuck what did this say about Andy? was he into Jake? as much as Jake was into him. He must be why else would a man like Andy take Jakes dick into his own mouth and suck it so well. Jake was so messed up he crashed down into the bed and did not know what to think. Lisa told the truth to Mrs Grayson and Andy and he did not remember! But what about everything Andy said, about losing his job, getting kicked out of the frat and maybe even school, and Jake getting his ass kicked and called a fag that doesn't just go away, that was all serious shit Jake could not process any of this it was all too overwhelming to take it in. He had to talk to Andy and see what he remembered. Jake had to report in at 9 am so he slept enough to make it to work, Andy didn't come in, Jake went through the day just as if Andy were there to tell him what to do, Danny was out "sick" as well. It as a July saturday and the pool club was crowded Jake was allowed to sit in the first chair even through he was not even certified they just needed the extra body. His friends were now not even really talking to him, once they saw him in the chair they were like this is unreal. He is 13 how the hell is he a certified lifeguard? no one else knew. Jake had the speedo he had the tan he had long blonde sunkissed hair the sunglasses and the whistle he was a lifeguard, and boy were the women flirting with him thinking he had to be at least 19 the housewives were all just purring like kittens for the newest lifeguard obviously Andy's protege he had the stare down, the stance from the chair everything he learned from Andy. But he was worried about Andy if he woke up and remembered what happened how confused and disgusted he must be, and maybe even angry at him. I can't wait for the shift to end to call him, and see if he is ok!

After his last shift of the day was over he had a stack of phone numbers to give private swim lessons to pool club members all of them women in their 30's and older. He tossed the stack into the trash when he went into the locker room. The club was closed and the last stragglers were leaving and the chemical guys were adjusting the levels of the prominent chemicals needed to keep the water clean. Jake rode his bike to Andy's campus and to the dorm buildings. He flew up the stairs to Andy's dorm and began to pound on the door. Calling "Andy, are you there Andy?" "Calm down I'm coming" he heard from the other side of the solid wooden door, Andy opened it and let him in. "Jake what happened at the pool? was anyone pissed that I didn't come in?" he asked. "Danny called out so we were short the 2 of you and they made me sit in your chair most of the day it was a busy summer saturday but no emergencies nothing really the day just dragged on, are you all right? I was worried when you didn't show up and when you dropped me off this morning you just sped off without even a good bye or fuck you!" Jake confessed. "Dude it wasn't you, I had some serious shit to talk to Lisa about and by the way we are done, after that shit she said I just could not let it go, joke or not it was really fucked up that she said that to Mrs Grayson." Andy said. " We have to talk about what you remember verses what I remember, my mind is like a blender shit keeps spinning around and then it stops and it gets quiet then it spins again." Andy said as he sat on the bed. Jake sat on the other bed in the dorm and said "Andy I am so confused there were these flashbacks and they were even worse than what Lisa said, when my head cleared up this morning I saw that what she said we did was real and not something she made up, and I am really messed up I know you and I know that you would never do something like that it is not you at all, so why did it happen?" "Jake dude I saw it too when the fog cleared that and a few other things that I know never should have happened, you know I am like your brother and there is no rational reason to explain why we did that, I know I was wasted and that Lisa dared me to but once I was doing it it was not like I thought it would be, Jake I did not feel sick or disgusted it was like I was making you feel like the way you were making me feel and it felt so fucking good!"

Jake was now even more confused, "You liked sucking me? Andy I don't understand you are a man who loves women you love fucking them you love everything about them its me that is fucking queer, not you!" Jake cried. and he lowered himself to the bed. "Andy I am a fucking queer I wanted to take you I wanted to touch your body I wanted to lick the sweat off of you, I am sick I am the one who is fucked up the weed just made me do it, but don't you see the difference Andy I have been in love with you since the first time I saw you and I have dreamed of doing what we did together and it makes me excited I am twisted and fucked and you hate me for being a fucking fag!" Jake was hysterically crying and was unable to stop. Andy wanted to go over and comfort his friend but after everything Jake was saying he knew that he better stay where he was. "Jake its ok if you are different and that we played around a little that does not make us fags, it just means that we are cool with each other and that we wanted to try something one time it doesn't change that we are still friends and that we care about each other!" Andy calmly spoke. Like Mrs Grayson said this morning a lot of guys even famous ones have sucked a dick, it does not mean they are queer. "Weed makes people do strange things, that was it man just a one time thing it will never happen again!" Andy tried to comfort his sobbing friend. "Andy you aren't listening to me, I wanted it to happen and I want it to happen all the time I love you, and I want to be with you all the time I want you to hold me and kiss me and make me feel that you love me too, I can't forget about what happened I have been praying all summer to touch you and to make it feel so good for you, I just never imagined that you would ever want to do it back to me, but I was ok with just loving you and not having you love me back but now after last night I want you to love me and to please me like you did last night it was heaven to me when I opened my eyes and saw you sucking me like you were, there was no hesitation it was like in my dreams when you wanted to do it to me as much as I wanted you to!" he broke down again.

" Jake you are like a brother to me and what you are saying is wrong men don't love each other like they way you want, it just can not happen it would be wrong in every way, it goes against everything the bible, society, and I just don't feel that way even if I did I could not act on it, no matter what it goes against everything, men like that are sick and need help, they have a disease that has to be treated!" Andy pleaded with Jake. "So now I am sick because I love you, how does that make me sick how can loving someone be wrong it is hurting only me!" Jake was still sobbing. Andy had to get up and go to Jake he was beyond consoling at this point and he felt awful saying that Jake was sick, if he felt like he did, he placed his hand on Jakes shoulder and said " Jake you are not sick I did not mean that, I mean that you are confusing friendship with love, men just can not love like a man and woman it is not the way it's supposed to be." Jake sat up and looked Andy in the eyes his eyes were swollen and red and tears stained his face. "Andy what if it is, what if god made me like this, is that wrong? is everything about me wrong to you? tell me right now that you do not love me and I will walk out the door and I will never see you again, I will take my sick self away from you forever, and you will not have to worry about last night because we will never be seen together, is that what you want? trust me Andy I have been fighting this for years knowing that something was wrong with me and that yes my dick gets hard around men and not with women, I have tried to find a way to make it go away I tried to block it out of my mind, I tried to make it stop knowing the bible says it is wrong, I do not want to hurt my family I love them too much to admit that I am different, I tried and I hate myself for feeling like this and then you came into my life, you are the man I would dream about making love with, loving and spending time with and I knew that you could never love me back but I still dreamed that just by being with you and spending time together you might learn to like me enough to want to spend time with me and I would be happy, do you know how hard it was for me to see that body in the showers that first time and not have a raging boner I couldn't even look at you, that day now even with your clothing on you excite me, I look into your eyes and I get lost and we are alone in a jungle somewhere we we are a million miles away and just us, I look at your lips and I ache to kiss them every day, knowing that I will never experience the taste of your kiss. The way you walk, your ass in your speedos, you make my dick hard everyday, Andy I have to go home to my bed and fantasize about being with you knowing that you are using the body I want to hold to kiss to taste, fucking Lisa, a woman that does not deserve you. I was prepared to hate her for being with you when I wanted to be with you, but I could not hate her for being normal and having the man I love fucking her. Jake paused to catch his breath.

Andy did not understand that Jake felt such deep emotion for him. That he was in love with him, what did that mean? He was beginning to get confused himself, he loved Jake that much he knew, they were like brothers wasn't that love? Plus he did admit getting a rise out of sucking his dick, it was exciting and thrilling and filled with pleasure, why did he think that way because it was Jake? It also got him excited that Jake was jealous of Lisa, she meant nothing to Andy but a warm fuck, Jake meant so much more to him he would trade the amount of time he spent with Lisa if Jake were older, he was sure they would be together most nights, laughing and joking an just having the times they had during the days but, now after the sexual experiment was done, did Andy still really want more?

Andy lowered his hand and began to rub Jakes back, to comfort him and console him. Jake was sobbing so deeply that he could not breath. "Jake come on sit up you have to breath, this is not good you can't make yourself suffer like this over me, I am not worth it, Jake you act like I am a superhero or something, I am not I am just a regular guy like you buddy we are just guys and we tried something and it was cool but it is wrong, do you hear me Jake?" he took Jake by the shoulders and sat him up and looked at the pain in his face by now Jakes eyes were swollen almost closed he took him in his arms and said. "Come here let me just hold you to get you to breath, and he held Jake who was lifeless and limp and he pulled him to his chest and held on tightly, Jake only sobbed harder so Andy held him tighter, he knew from his lifeguard training that sometimes when someone is in shock you have to almost squeeze them until they can start to breathe normally again. Jakes face was buried in Andy's shoulder as he held him so close he could feel his heart beat pounding in his chest. he stroked his hair as he held him tightly. "ok buddy let it out it's all ok, we are alone and you just cry like you want to I am right here, as long as you need me." Andy said as calmly as possible. But at the same time that he was comforting Jake and holding him and stroking his hair Andy began to feel his own dick stirring, what does this mean? the thought, and began to get frustrated he had to help his Jake not get aroused by holding him. Jake began to respond to the squeezing and started to slow down his breath and begin to breath normally. Andy continued to stroke his hair and calm him down. Jake was easing and Andy began to loosen his grip. Andy was still holding tightly as Jake turned and was no longer with his face buried in Andys shoulder but more towards his neck and he inhaled the scent of Andy's hair which was clean and smelled fresh. "are you ok buddy? can I let you go?"Andy asked cautiously. Jake shook his head as if to indicate no don't let go, now Jake was holding on as well he was no longer a limp body, he began to hold and pull as tight as Andy was a few minutes before, when he said "can you hold me just a little bit longer, if we are never going to see each other I want to hold you just a few minutes longer?" "Jake buddy why would we not be friends we are ok with us now right? you are feeling better?" Andy asked. Jake nodded his head yes but he was not feeling better and he knew that they could never be the same after Andy heard what he had said.

"Andy can I ask you one favor? you do not have to say yes and I will understand if you don't but can we kiss, just once like a couple, can you just kiss me one time like you love me and I will hold on to that for the rest of my life?" he trembled in Andys arms and he could tell it took a lot for Jake to ask this. "Jake buddy I don't think that would be a good idea, don't you think that if you imagine what it would be it would be a million times better than what it really would be?" Andy questioned. "Its ok I said that I was fine if you said no, Andy I understand that since you don't love me it would have no meaning, I get it!" Jake responded. "no no no that is not it I do love you, like a big brother loves his little brother, in a normal safe way, not in a romantic sexy way!" Jake pulled away at the word normal it clung to him like he was not normal and he was diseased. he stood up walked toward the window and turned his back to Andy, Jake faced the window and began to sob again. "I understand that I am not normal Andy and for 1 second of my life I wanted to feel normal, knowing that for 1 second I could pretend that you loved me and that I was not some sick demented pervert, but you made it pretty clear that you do not see me as normal, but that I am sick diseased." Andy stood up."come on Jake I never said that, all I said was it would not feel normal for me, not that there's anything wrong with you, don't you see knowing that you love me hurts me since I am not worthy of your love, I am a bastard Jake and I will always be a bastard, you need a man that will be yours and yours alone a good man like you are Jake, an honest man, someone that you could build a life together with someone who you deserve as much as he deserves you, come on Jake you know what I am talking about!" he continued. "Jake you have known me 2 months and you have been with me most of that time do you really think I am a good man? I am not Jake I am everything that you are not, I am a liar, I cheat, I do drugs, I drink, my grades are a joke, why do you think I had to work this summer? I never told you my parents don't want me at their home, Jake I have stolen from both my parents to buy drugs, they don't trust me, they pretty much kicked me out and told me to get a job and earn my own education money, Jake I am a shit, a rotten person, you deserve so much more you are a good kid, your family loves you, your grades are top, you will have a sterling life, you have so much to offer."

Jake turned from the window and now Andy was holding his head in his hands and crying. "Jake you honor me with your love and I tried to be the best role model I could for you these last 2 months, but I can't keep pretending to be a good man, I am not, and the sooner you find out the better." "Andy I don't know what to say, I am sorry but I did not see you like that, to me you are perfect." Jake walked closer to Andy. who shot up from the bed and started to yell "perfect nothing about me is perfect you talk about diseased, I am the diseased one not you! I will show you how perfect I am." and Andy swung at Jake and clocked him on the jaw. Jake was taken by surprise and shocked since he did not expect it and took a step back. "See there is your perfect love, and that is the kiss I leave you with, see Jake learn from this that you can not put someone on a pedestal because it hurts like a son of a bitch when they fall, and Jake I am not on a mother fucking pedestal, got that!" he shouted. Jake was holding his sore jaw as he nodded yes! "Now get out of here before I show you what a true son a bitch I really am!"

Jake grabbed his stuff and left the room, he made in about 3 feet into the hall and he leaned against the wall sobbing, what just happened, this is not the Andy I have known. Andy opened the door and looked out at the slumped body of Jake and his heart went out to him, he ran to him and picked him up Jake was not sure if he was going to hit him again, so he was very guarded and Andy slowly helped him back to the room. "Jake I am so sorry I hit you, you didn't need that, I wanted to make you hate me, and then I could deal with the guilt of pushing you away, I never wanted to hurt you, can you forgive me?"Jake was so confused. "Andy why are you being nice to me now after that speech and that slug to my face?" "because I understand how hurt you are and how horrible I was, when you left I thought he will never want to see me again and I said good for Jake, but I thought about everything that you said to me and how hard it must have been for you to say! truth is I do love you Jake, and not just like a brother, I feel so many twisted up things inside of me and when I thought I would never see you again it hurt me so much! and I felt so bad, that is why I was coming out to get you and bring you back to tell you how I feel and that yes I was aware of what we did last night and being high is not a real excuse I wanted to try to please you, like a way I did not believe possible and you were already pleasing me with so much. How good you are and loving, I have known since the day in the shower that your feelings for me were not just "buddies" that you were excited and pleased when I asked you to join the team, and I did it because I liked knowing that someone so good could actually like me just as I am, and you made me be a better person Jake in 2 months you have shown me that I am not the horrible person that my family believes I am, and I watched you glowing in 2 months you went from a scared 13 year old to a confident and independent young man, someone I was proud to know, so when you said you loved me I was torn between telling you how much I love you, and letting you walk out the door believing I am a bastard and that you are better off without me."

Jake stood in the dorm more confused than before. "Andy what are you telling me that all that other shit is a lie and that you do love me? or that you feel sorry for me?" he asked. "Jake I could never feel sorry for you, I am jealous of you, at 13 you know who you are and against all the best judgement you told me how you really felt, I am 19 and I can't say what you said, I had to watch you walk out that door to understand that I do not want to lose you from my life, I might not be queer, but I am queer for you, do you know what I am saying?" "No Andy I have no fucking clue what you are saying, I pour my heart out to you and you fucking punch me, I ask you to kiss me once so I can hold onto something special for a long time and you make me out to be abnormal, now because you are afraid that I will never wish to see you again after you pretty much told me to get the fuck out, no Andy I don't think you know what you want? if its a blow job forget it I have now placed too much value on what I would do for someone not worthy of my time and of my affection. Jake was furious. "Jake if I asked you to kiss me right now what would you say? Andy asked, not sure how Jake would respond. "Andy I would say fuck you and the horse that you rode in on, when I asked it was from my heart, you speak and it's from your crotch, and I do not accept it!" Jake spoke much more aggressively than Andy imagined. "come here let me show you, there is no way that you could have fallen out of love with me in 10 minutes, let me show you that I understand that you are right and that I really don't want to lose you, come into my arms, and let me prove it to you, if after the kiss you still want me to take my horse and go fuck myself I will be fine with that!" Andy was speaking from a place Jake had never seen. so he approached him and Andy opened his arms to embrace him. " I don't know why I am doing this!" Jake said as he was wrapped in Andys arms. "because you are more curious than you wish to admit, and you place a lot of value on this kiss, so let me show you I respect everything you told me." They were face to face and within seconds the first brush of lips on lips gave way to a more passionate pressing firmly and the kiss began slowly at first and every so tenuous, but Jake could feel the heat rising from Andys lips. Once they began there was no turning back and Andy opened his mouth and slipped his tongue into Jakes mouth and they danced together within the passion that Jake held so bottled up, and contained for Andy rushed out. They communicated by the licking and sucking of their tongues slipped and slid around creating stirring passions in their loins.

Jake pulled back and Andy questioned him with his eyes. Jake needed to pause and collect his thoughts was this true did he just experience the kiss he had dreamed of for 2 months with the man he was in love with and did Andy not kiss him back with the same amount of passion? and did he not feel the erection in Andy's shorts with intense heat and a raging hardon in his bathing suit. Jake looked down embarrassed as his tiny speedos barely hid his very hard dick. Andy looked down too and smiled. He said "in my memory I thought I imagined that you were large but in truth you are huge!" Jake laughed he would never have stood there with almost all of his penis exposed in front of Andy or anyone but right at this moment it did not disturb him because he saw the tent in Andy's shorts was as hard and dripping through the thin fabric. Andy looked embarrassed that his desire from one kiss with Jake could cause him to leak as much as he was. Jake took his finger and rubbed the wet spot in Andy's shorts and felt him hard and wet.

"Jake I have to say this and it is the truth, if we do one more thing to each other, it will be considered rape of a minor in every state in the country you are so very under age and I am considered an adult in most of the country. So we must think about that before we do anything further. I do not wish to go to jail and I also do not want to be seen as taking advantage of a minor, you understand, it does not affect the way I feel about you at all but, I have to stress caution right now!" Jake continued to play with the wet spot on Andy's shorts and said. "Is it rape if I am willing to be intimate with you in every way?" Jake asked, with complete sincerity. "Yes if either one of us removes our clothing it would be considered rape even if it is the most important thing that you have wanted in 2 months, or 2 years you are underage and I do not want to corrupt you, or go to jail." Jake thought for a moment and said. "Andy I want to do it again please, kiss me." Andy pulled Jake in close and this time the kiss was not tenatitive it was passionate and hungry right away. Andy pulled away and Jake pulled him back. Kissing more intensely than they should be. "My god Jake we have to stop NOW!" and he pushed Jake away and said. "Jake I think you really need to go, before something happens and I am not ready for anything to happen, this is too new to me you have to understand that before an hour ago I did not even think 2 men could love each other like this and now with this level of passion it is something I am not ready for, you must respect my feelings on this, you asked for 2 things and I gave you both I told you I love you, and now you have gotten your kiss you really have to go." Andy turned toward the window, partially to hide his now even harder dick and wetter shorts. Jake slipped out of his speedos since he ran right from the pool he was in his work red speedos and zip up sweatshirt he unzipped and tossed it on the floor, now he was naked on Andy's bed. "Andy are sure you want me to leave, I need to you to turn around." Andy slowly turned and there was Jake his golden brown skin and his glowing white contrast held his very hard and very red dick and Andy saw it again this time it was different he was not stoned he was aware and he saw the very seductive Jake lying waiting for him to take his clothing off as well. "Jake NO put your clothes back on didn't you hear a word I just said we can't do this, not now or ever!" his voice trembled, and Andy was shaking. "Come on Andy you like what you see? it's all yours and it wants you, I promise not to hurt you with my major weapon!" Jake was laughing as he was rubbing his two hands on his very large and very excited dick. "Jake if you don't get dressed and leave here I am leaving, how many times do I have to tell you I can't touch you, I want to so very much but I can't please Jake this is not fair!" Andy pleaded, and if he had just left the room at that moment his entire life would have changed.

But he went to Jake and bent down and kissed him again passionately as Jake pulled Andy's shorts down to his ankles with one tug, and reached out to touch Andy's dripping dick. The two boys were deeply involved in the kiss that they did not hear the door open and in walked Doug the resident assistant "Hey what's all the noise in here? Holy shit what the fuck are you doing?" He can't be in here and you can't be doing whatever the fuck you are doing!" Doug looked at the boys with disgust. "I have to report this, put your fucking clothes on, I am calling the police." "No Doug its not what you think, nothing happened!" Andy pleaded as Jake scrambled to get his clothing up from the floor. "How would you know what I am thinking you fucking fag pervert!" Doug stormed out of the room and picked up the phone in the hall and called 911. "Jake you have to get out of here, if the police come its his word against mine if you are here it doesn't look good for me!' Andy whispered. Doug was not in hearing distance and was having a conversation with someone. "We didn't do anything, they can't arrest you if we were not doing anything!" Jake pleaded. "While he is on the phone try and sneak into another dorm room when he comes back in here you run like the wind!" Andy begged. "But he is right outside how can I get past him? He is blocking the main exit, and I can't jump out the window its 2 flights up I will break my legs!" Jake shouted."Jake lower your voice, the last thing we need now is for him to come in with you still here, you have to try, please my life depends on it." Andy was begging. "ok I will try." Jake saw the anguish in Andy's face. and went to the open door he saw Doug on the phone but ran to the next dorm and the door was locked, he ran down the hall door to door and could not find one unlocked, everyone was home for summer vacation and they, kept the rooms locked in case vandals got into the buildings. Doug hung up the phone and was looking down shaking his head when he caught Jake down the hall trying to get away. "Hey you stop right there, the cops are on the way and it doesn't matter where you are going I can read the sweatshirt you work at the pool with him, so we will get you no matter what, go on run see what good it gets you." Jake realised that Doug was right wearing a red speedos and the pool club lifeguard sweat jacket was his undoing. He walked back towards the room and shrugged at Andy who was standing at the door way shaking his head. "Dam boy you are both in for it now that what you were doing is obscene in this state, and they are going to throw your ass in jail!"

The first to arrive was the black and white squad car with the 1 cop after a few minutes the black unmarked car pulled up with the 1 man in a suit. Doug greeted the officer first and lead him to the dorm where Andy sat on one bed and Jake on the other. He explained that since its summer break almost everyone has left, there were only about 5 students remaining at the dorm, Andy being one of them, working in town at the pool club. The officer listened and took notes and when Doug got to the part where he described what was going on when he entered the room. " I was hearing voices being raised and I came to check it out, knowing that I locked the rest of the dorm down it could only have come from here, and when I walked in that one was naked on the bed and very excited if you know what I mean? and that one was kissing him not like a kiss but a KISS and his shorts were down around his ankles and he was excited too and the naked one on the bed was playing with his dick!" Doug described just what he saw. "Ok I heard enough, detective Jameson, you take over I want nothing to do with this kind of shit!" the uniformed officer said as he left the room.

Detective Jameson came in and asked Doug to leave them. Doug stepped out into the hall with the other cop.

"Ok boys, it seems like we have a little problem here, do you fellas know what that is?" son what's your name and how old are you he asked Jake and Jake responded 13. Detective Jameson blew out a whistle with his teeth and lips. "What in hell were you boys thinking? and you name and how old? " Andy answered 19. "Ok we heard what the other guy saw now you tell me what was happening when he walked in." he said to Jake. "Detective I am a queer and I have been working with Andy all summer and I came here because something happened and I needed to know how he felt about me, once we talked I knew and I wanted him to be with me, he tried to stop me honest, he said that we cannot do anything because he knew that he would get into trouble, it was me that got naked on the bed, trying to tease him to not be so serious, and then I asked him to kiss me and I yanked down his shorts he did not do anything, I swear detective it was all me!" detective Jameson asked Andy "Is that the truth? you allowed this 13 year old boy into your dorm knowing how he felt about you and you told him nothing is going to happen, yet you then allow him to get naked on the bed and you did not stop it? and then proceeded to kiss this 13 year old naked boy behind closed doors and you expected nothing to happen?" The detective asked Andy "Sir it didn't happen just like that we have been fighting about this for a few hours, and it looks a lot worse than it was, Doug had no idea what was happening, then he just went ballistic and called you in, nothing happened I swear, on a stack of bibles, all we did was kiss 3 times and when Jake got naked I didn't want him too but I could not stop it, in fact right before he pulled off his clothes I told him to go home he could not be here when I turned around from the window he was naked, and teasing me." Andy was desperately trying to explain. "Is that true son, he asked you to leave and you took your clothes off without him knowing about it? " Yes sir he told me that nothing was going to happen now or ever, that I was underage and that it would screw up his life if we got caught and something happened, I swear sir all we did was kiss!"

"Ok you two seem like nice kids who got in way over your heads, we have to go downtown and have a doctor examine you Jake, and if the tests come back that there was no sexual penetration anywhere, we will have to just see if that is the case and you are telling me the truth both of you, and we will have you examined as well Andy, since in a case like this it could go either way, no matter what the tests say, you Jake are going to have to explain what happened here to your folks, Andy at 19 you are not responsible to tell your folks, but there will be a report sent to the school, you see boys this situation is bad, if anything happened and the doctor, sees that there is sperm on your bodies especially in places where a penis entered either of you,then we are looking at a felony with up to 20 years in prison, if the doctor says that you boys are clean, and there is no proof of any penetration of any kind it changes things dramatically, it is still not going to be easy, for either one of you this is a small town and word of this will get out, and your family has to be informed Jake, so if you boys are telling me the truth then you just have to deal with the world finding out that you are homosexual, and in 1973, it's not as bad as it was 10 years ago, but there are many people with small minds that are not going to like it, you boys choose a difficult road to travel, let me tell you!" said detective Jameson. "Detective do we have to go in the police car, it will look like we are criminals and we have not done anything illegal?" Andy questioned. "Son, I don't have to remind you that as of this moment we do not know if what happened is illegal or not, I am taking you on your word that nothing happened it's not my place to say if it did or didn't doctor Foley will determine that, but let me see if I can let the squad car go ahead and you boys can come in with me, it's not like you are armed and dangerous!" Detective Jameson said. He left the room and went down the hall to Doug's room to speak with the officer, who came in on the call. "No problem detective, I might have something real to deal with other than 2 fags packing fudge 1 underage, these people are sick, makes me want to vomit with what Doug here has been telling me when he walked in it sounds so disgusting!" Spat out officer Kent. "That is quite enough officer, didn't you attend the mandatory meetings about this sort of thing? now that these people are coming out to society we have to treat them with some more respect, I don't think that your captain will be so thrilled to hear what you just told me, so just a friendly reminder, watch what you say about "those people" this is 1973 not 1873, they are still american citizens, you got that Kent?" Jameson said with an edge to his tone. "Yes detective ok I will meet you back at the station when you get in, and I would appreciate if what I just said remains between the 2 of us I don't need the captain on my ass about this?" Kent requested. "Deal, Kent not a word, I will see you back at the station." Detective Jameson smiled at Kent and gave him a wink. Officer Kent left the school and detective Jameson was in the room with Doug. "Son let me explain to you how this is going to go down, you are not going to say one word about what you saw today, we will take it from here and I will speak with the dean myself, you are going to remain tight lipped about everything that you saw, and tell no one, and do you know why I know that you are not going to tell anyone? well it's like this the only ones who know what went down here today are you, Andy and Jake, and they are not going to talk about this with anyone except their families, I will have an ear at this school if one word gets out about today I will be coming after you, understand?" Doug was terrified and shook his head no clearly he would not talk. "Also the next time that you call the police to come to the dorms, throw out your roaches I see an ashtray filled with them and I am pretty sure that you would not like YOUR folks to know that you smoke weed? especially since it is an illegal substance in this state!" Doug's eyes opened wide and he looked at the ashtray filled with roaches of all the joints he didn't finish. sitting on the bookshelf. "No detective I sure as hell would not want my folks knowing that I am doing that at all, they would pull me out of school in a heartbeat!" Doug whimpered. "Ok son I believe we understand each other!" Jameson said."Yes sir, not a word! I saw nothing, sir!" Jameson walked out and closed the door.

When he walked back into the room Jake was crying and Andy was patting him on the back as he held him. "Ok boys Doug will not say a word about what he saw here today, he and I have a little understanding, so Jake you can stop crying, I sent officer Kent back and Doug is now tight lipped the only ones who know about what happened here today are the 2 of you and me. Now come here and sit down I want to talk to you boys, there are a few things I need to know before we go any further with this, ok sit down on that bed." Detective Jameson said calmly. "Jake its ok you can stop crying" Andy said as he stroked his back. "Jake can you tell me just what love is?" Detective Jameson asked. "It is kind of hard to explain, I get this weird rumble in my stomach when Andy is near me, I have trouble breathing when we are very close to each other, I think about him all the time for the last 2 months and when I thought he liked girls and wasn't sick like me I told myself that he will always be a step away and I will never know what it feels like to be in his arms, I dream about the times when we are alone, and imagine us out by the lake or even at a drive in sitting close to each other, when I look into his eyes and see his lips my head gets light and I don't ever want to forget an inch of his face." Jake answered honestly. "That is something pretty powerful there Jake, ok now you Andy tell me what love feels like to you?" The detective asked. "To be honest sir it was not till I thought that Jake was going to leave and I would never see him again did I even think about it, but when he walked out the door my heart stopped beating for a few seconds and I could not breathe, I thought of all the times we laughed together, how wonderfully smart Jake is and how he acts so much older than his age, I thought about his smile and how it makes me feel when he looks at me he studies me as if I am the most important man in the world and he makes me feel so good, I want to be a better man for him, and although I never thought about being intimate with him I have caught myself looking at him, and yes I think that he is very good looking so when I was sure he couldn't see me, I was always excited when he came in every day and we sat and talked about the night before - well it was me talking mostly about the conquests of Lisa and half the time I was hard telling Jake the stories and I saw a few times he had to throw a towel over himself to hide his obvious hard on, and that got me excited that I got him excited. I never thought I was able to love anyone but if you want to know the truth I know for sure that I love Jake and that I do not wish to lose him ever." Andy answered. "Thank you boys for being honest with me, I can see that there is something special between you boys and I hear you when you tell me nothing happened and I believe you that nothing did happen, my problem is that sitting before me are 2 young men who obviously love each other, in a very real and honest way, and I have a very big problem with what to do with you 2, I believe that nothing happened yet, so no laws have been broken, but if Doug did not walk in when he did, then what would have happened would break the law, and that is my problem, I like you boys and I can understand how you want to be intimate together, since it is natural and hormonal, and if we leave you 2 alone something will happen and trust me when I say this I do not want to place Andy in prison, he is too young to ruin his life and to be very honest he is too good looking to survive prison, I don't want to be rough but honest, Andy will get gang raped the very first night and we can't keep him safe, and in no time Andy will probably try and kill himself, if someone doesn't kill him first, the big time offenders hate when they hear child molester, in this case it would be less molesting but it wouldn't matter they would think of their own kids on the outside and someone abusing them, and they will beat, rape and kill anyone, with that title there are no exceptions, in prison the lowest of the low is the child molester."

The detective said in complete seriousness.

"Detective I don't want Andy to go to prison, I don't know if I could deal with my own guilt if he got hurt or killed, because of me, and something we might want to do, I love him too much, I would rather see him go away and know that he is safe than die like that for no reason!" Jake pleaded. "Jake I am not going to prison I have done nothing wrong, detective Jameson knows that, he is trying to help us, right detective?" Andy tried to keep a more positive spin on what they were hearing, he was frightened but he knew that he had to keep Jake calm, it had been a very dramatic day filled with too many ups and downs, and he felt that he was being pushed to his breaking point. "Boys I need you to know something, that will help you understand what I want to do for you, relax and listen, I am like you both I am a homosexual, no one knows it but I have been living with the man I love for 15 years so I truly understand what you feel for each other, he is my life and if I had the choice to save him from a life of horror in prison I would do anything, understand anything. Life for us is extra hard, but things are looking up and we may see a time in the not to distant future when society can accept that love is in your heart, your soul, and not in your pants. Right now it is not like that so Tom and I hide as best we can, we have to be very careful but if in the end we can go away to a place where no one knows us and relax and feel free for even a few days it is worth it. Part of living this life that I am sure you both understand is not a choice but part of who we are, is the eternal suffering to have to lie to families and co-workers and most of the town, maybe they suspect maybe not but all we ever did was wish for a simple life, one where our business stays our business, during the years we have met other men and women who are trapped like we are and we have formed strong friendships with other homosexuals, so you boys are not alone.

If you agree to what I am going to propose to you, then everything will be swept under the rug and for the rest of the world today never happened, you are good boys and to be honest even if something more intimate happened I would still suggest this option, love is simply love, people hate us because we are different, but when your head and your heart tell you to follow them then you must, or be confused and in the wrong life for you. So this is what I plan to do, Doug is aware that I am watching him and I have placed a little fear into him, plus when I get back to the station I am going to tell officer Kent that Doug was under the influence of an illegal substance and he confessed to me that none of what he told him was the truth. It ends right here, you do not have to tell your parents Jake unless you are ready, I don't suggest it you are too young to suffer what might happen, so if you can keep this love as your own secret then my suggestion is that Andy transfer to another school out of state, and that you boys keep in touch by writing and calling but avoid seeing each other till Jake is legally able to make his own choices. If the love that you have spoken about so eloquently is who and what you truly feel it will wait for 5 years." Detective Jameson offered.

"Detective thank you I don't know what to say, it will be hard for me to lose Jake from my everyday life, but I do not wish to die in prison, or expose our secret to the world, waiting will be so hard, I love him so much." Andy was crying with bittersweet tears of both happiness and sorrow. "But I don't want Andy to go away, how will I survive without him now that I know how he feels about us, it will be horrible to know he is out there and we can't be together." Jake placed his head in his hands detective Jameson said "Jake would you rather know that Andy is alive and well and in a new school and write and call each other, or know that the love of your life was gang raped and killed in prison? I know 5 years seems like an eternity, but it will go by faster knowing that after those years you boys can do what you wish and maybe 5 years from now the world we be a different place and people like us will have a better chance to be who we are and not live in the shadows, I know I would be happier knowing my love was alive and well and not dead before his time in a stupid mistake of justice, a young life wasted because the world does not want to see us, to know that we exist!" "Jake listen to the detective, he is giving us a chance at life, versus death, and humiliation and separation and disconnect for your family, this is the best option, I don't want to be gang raped and killed I am only 19 we have our entire lives ahead of us we can wait 5 years if it means life, and not taking things to the next level yet, but waiting, 5 years will go by fast, and I am sure that if we promise the detective that nothing will happen we can visit each other, it is not a permanent separation, right detective?" Andy begged. " No Andy I would need to know that if I am going to set this up you boys have no physical contact until the time Jake is 18, and I will keep track of both of you, now that we understand each other, and what life has given us, you both have someone else to talk to now, I am a good listener, and I care about what happens to you both it is important that if I set this up you boys do not disappoint me!" The detective stated as clearly as possible. "I agree 100% , Jake tell us that you agree, show the detective that he can count on us to cooperate and make this possible, can't you see he is giving us the chance of a lifetime." Andy pleaded with Jake to see the reality of this gift they were given, he needed Jake to be on board completely."Andy I have waited all my life to find you and for 2 months I was not sure if what I wanted was even possible and today I finally find out that you love me as much as I love you and you are asking me to let you walk out of my life for 5 years, what can I say, I don't want this at all, but I have no choice, it is the only way to make all the trouble I caused go away!" Jake sighed. "Jake please understand this is not a bad option, I am giving you the freedom to never have to discuss this with anyone, to avoid the drama of getting your ass kicked daily in school for being a fag, for saving Andys life, plus I have risked everything just confiding in you boys, we all are making sacrifices here, not just you, it is important that you understand that, it is not my intent to punish you boys for being in love, it is my intent that you have a love in 5 years, here is the other scenario if I did not do this and we took it downtown and I had to bring your parents in and explain what is going on here, and have to tell Andy's dean, they would separate you boys anyway and there would be no contact, yes you would still live in the same town but don't you think think that would be worse bumping into each other in town and having everyone know who and what you are and reporting to your folks and contacting me and me being forced to separate you over and over again, possibly having you both checked by the doctor every time someone sees you speaking on the street, and Jake how awful would it be to see Andy out with his friends in town going to a bar or dinner and knowing that you can not be part of those things, if he is in another city you will not have that problem you will talk and write and share and love and have every chance at happiness in 5 years, men and women like us do not always get a chance at happiness, many never find their love, or if they do there are other complications, you have to look past the number and see the future that you can have, bright together, just not now!" Detective Jameson pleaded with Jake to understand.

"Detective can I speak with Jake alone for a minute?" Andy asked. "Sure I will wait out in my car, when you boys have an agreement come out and we will either go downtown and ruin 2 lives or we will take Jake home I am sure his folks must be worried, by now!" Jameson said. He the got up and walked out of the room.

"Jake tell me what you want? Tell me that me saying I am in love with you is not enough, showing you that I love you is not enough, wanting to have a life even if we have to wait 5 years is not enough, tell me that to spend my life in prison and getting raped and murdered is what you want, tell me that you want to ruin your relationship with your family is what you want, being labeled a queer is what you want, being beaten up daily at school is what you want, having everyone in town look at you as if you are a freak is what you want, because I want you to have none of those things, I want to trust a man like detective Jameson for placing his personal and private life at risk telling us his truth, showing us we can have a life and 5 years is not a prison term, we still get to call and write and communicate with each other, Jake I know that you are a mature 13 year old, I need to see that side of you, to trust the detective and know he is giving us a great gift, not the perfect alternative by better than anything we could create, on our own!" Andy was on his knees with Jakes hands in his. Jake looked up and said" Please kiss me." Andy raised his face to Jakes and kissed him with all the passion that he had, Jake responded back equally. after they were completely intoxicated by the kiss. Jake said " I agree, I do not want to ever lose that kiss, and we have waited 2 months for us to even share the words I love you, I guess 5 years will go by, I love you Andy and I don't want you to get hurt or killed in prison for nothing we have done, so yes I agree!" Jake struggled to say it but knew there was no other choice. "Thank you, for seeing the positive side to this we can speak everyday, and write our personal thoughts and share everything, and before you know it we will be like this again, come on lets go tell Jameson, the good news!" Andy was excited that Jake came around he knew it was hard for Jake to wrap his head around it all, but he knew that he understood.

Detective Jameson was thrilled that both boys agreed and knew that Jake was the more difficult of the 2 to see the vision. the good thing was that Jake was right here in town so if he needed to talk Jameson was very available, and there will be times that Jake will have to express his emotions, and who better than the man that helped them have a shot at a future, a man like him who knew what it was like to be different and to keep it a secret. Detective Jameson picked up Jake's bike at the pool club and drove Jake 2 blocks away from home and let him out there. "Remember you do not have to tell your folks unless you want to, my suggestion is to let some time pass clear your head, today was filled with emotions for you, and make a choice to tell them or not when you are ready to do so, here is my card, and my home number on the back if you ever need to talk to someone who understands what happened today please call me Jake, and I trust that you will never speak to anyone about what I told you, right?" "Detective Jameson after what you did to help us I could never speak about your private life and I must admit that it feels good to know that there are other people like us and that you are so very normal and not sick or mentally ill like I thought I was going to become." Jake said with a sense of relief in his voice. "Son my hope is that in time we all can feel normal and not like there is something wrong with us for loving someone that society says we shouldn't, but I have hope and seeing how strong you and Andy feel about each other gives me great hope that your future will be brighter than mine, and I wanted to tell you this away from Andy, my Tom is older than me and we met in the police academy he was married at the time and I had to wait 8 years for him to get a divorce and during that time we lived in different states, so I know all too well what you boys are feeling right now, and if you give love a chance it will grow and become stronger for you, that is the one common bond that you and I share I was miserable waiting for Tom, but just know in the end it was worth every minute." Detective Jameson smiled at Jake, and added. " When you are sad and blue and need a voice know I am here for you!" Jake held his card in his hand and put it into his wallet and said. "I am pretty sure that you broke a few laws helping us the way that you did so if I say thanks I really mean it, and don't be surprised if you get a call real soon, my heart is breaking right now!" Jake started to tear. "Jake call me tomorrow if you want to talk, both Tom and I can help you get through this, so you are not alone, in fact one of these days I can let you in on a few of secrets about people in town who are like us as well, and a few you never would have guessed, all in time son, all in time, now dry up those tears and get home its late!"Jameson said and he turned on the engine and waved Jake off.

Andy called the owner of the pool club and thanked her for the opportunity but that had to leave town shortly so he was giving official notice. "Andy you were one of the best team captains we have had in a very long time and no I am not happy to see you go, but you have made a very big difference with the team they are better disciplined and much stronger as a team with your guidance, and your little shadow has turned into quite a good guard, I hope he sticks with it, he has much of the determination that you have, you mentored him well." she said "Thank you

for all the compliments everyone was really great but you are right Jake is a very special guard, keep your eye on him and I guarantee in a year or 2 he will be your team captain, thank you again, and I am sorry to have to leave myself, more than you can imagine, bye!" And he hung up. He lay on his bed and tried to take in everything that happened to him in one day, 5 years isn't so long, and a man like Jake is worth the wait. He was also glad that detective Jameson gave him a card he knew there were going to be days when he had to talk about his love for Jake and he was so relieved he had someone who put his neck out on the line to protect them, from themselves. Tomorrow I start the transfer paperwork, tonight I will be dreaming about what could have happened today and finally allow myself to feel all the things I have been pushing into the back corners of my mind all these years and he closed his eyes and saw Jake laying naked on his bed and he fell asleep dreaming of every inch of him.

Detective Jameson went downtown and spoke to officer Kent and said that he could rip up the statement from Doug Simmons as he confessed to being very high and that he never saw anything when he went into Andy's room the boys were dressed and laying on the opposite dorm beds and talking. He also said that he gets high a lot so, that seeing things are his normal reaction. Kent was pissed off that he had to go out to the school on a bogus complaint and one so bizarrely graphic, all because a kid was flying high as a kite. "Damn kids, what will they think of next to bust my balls?" He grumbled as he ripped up the complaint. Detective Jameson just laughed "Kids got to love them, ok Kent I am out of here, glad this one was a no paperwork no case huh?" Jameson asked. " Yeah detective I hear yah, have a good night ,say hey to your brother for me, we really miss him down here at the station he was the best damn captain we ever had!" said Kent. "Sure thing" Jameson smiled as he walked out to his car. When he got home, he walked in and tossed his keys on the table and took his gun and placed it in the safe. " Hey brother, Kent said to say hey!" from the sofa the voice called out brother my ass get your butt over here and give your "brother" a big kiss!" Tom called out and Jameson went to his partner of 15 years and gave him a kiss to make up for the 8 hours he was away. "Tom have I got a story to tell you, and I know that you are going to be so proud of what I did, started with a call that there was an incident at the college....

5 years is a long time when you are waiting for the one you love to come back into your life. Andy was all set, he packed his bag for the trip and added a lot more clothing knowing that his long weekend to attend Jakes graduation was going to last much longer, than a weekend. The boys spoke every day and shared photos and times they missed away from each other and Andy was excited as Jake grew more handsome as he grew into his adult body, Andy still retained his sexy good looks at 24, but Jake had blossomed and was a heartbreaker. Taller than Andy Jake was over 6' and a solid 185 Andy was 5' 10" and holding his own at his lean 170. Jake had just turned 19 the same age Andy was when they met, a week before, so he was now totally legal in every sense of the word. They met in the bar at Andy's hotel and when Jake walked in heads turned, even more when Andy stood to greet him and they embraced for the first time in 5 years. The magic was still there and stronger than ever it was not long before they were up in Andy's hotel room and once safely locked behind the door they began to kiss and it was as if it were yesterday that they left off, although 5 years had added a lot more passion after they kissed for a good long time, they seperated and they stood looking at the other and each said it clear as a bell "I love you!" Jake then added "I spoke to Chris and Tom and they are coming to graduation" "I am glad I have not seen Chris in the 5 years I was away but we spoke once a week." Andy smiled. " Well I got you beat my love." Jake said with his now deeper more masculine voice. " I spoke with Chris almost every day and had dinner with him and Tom once a week, they are our fairy godfathers!" He laughed and Andy lunged at him again this time the kiss was even more passionate. They had a lot of time to catch up, and they spent a lot of time catching up the next 10 days. As Andy was packing up to head back. "It's going to be odd having you I my class this semester!" Andy said. Jake still laying in bed wrapped up in sheets asked "Why?" Andy laughed and jumped back on the bed. " I never fucked a student before!" "I know a way to fix that", Jake said as he rolled on top of Andy. " Can you say a student never fucked you till now as well? Andy laughed, he looked at the handsome man that Jake had become, smart, and strong. "Hey dude you got style!" Andy said. "You still use that old line?" Jake asked. "Damn straight caught you didn't it?" The 2 men laughed and knew that they made it and that whatever the future held it would be so much better with the other one in it.

tony scarpa 7/18/2018

Love's First Confusion ~ short story