this year i finally understand that with age you truly gain wisdom. and with wisdom things appear clearer and life becomes transparent, in its simplicity. things we have obsessed about are no longer important, they ease into a sense of peace with everything around.
something happened this winter that has been lacking in my life for a few years, i have found the true meaning of christmas, and the amazing reality is that it is as numerous as grains of sand and unique to each individual person and changes so many times in a persons life.
there is of course the santa meaning of christmas, with rudolph, and frosty the snowman and the beautiful innocence of the childhood belief that if they behave they will receive a visit from the merry old elf himself santa claus..with it everything that it entails the beautiful lights and the joyful tree decorated inside their home filled with sparkle and glistening golds, silvers, reds and blues... there are songs to celebrate this meaning and it is the time for children... it is a gift many adults who have children get to experience and many never wish for this innocence to end. we all want them to believe in santa yet another year... it takes us back to our own childhood filled with the memories of being that innocent again... for many it is not always filled with joyful memories so they try as hard as they can to make that magic for their own children.. as long as there is childhood innocence there will remain that meaning of christmas...
the next meaning that comes to mind is the birth of the savior jesus christ with the story that involves every detail that make this meaning special, a manger, angels, shepards, 3 wise men, following the star... and all the wonder and miracles that survived through ages and still hold a part of many adults hearts... they see the value of the holiday is not about pretty wrappings and gifts but the joy in knowing that the son of god has come to earth to begin the process of human redemption of sins and life everlasting...there are songs sung and written that sing of the rejoicing of the birth of jesus as the innocent babe born in a manger... and for those who follow this belief they hold it true to their hearts... and love the season for all that it means every detail that make it wonderful...
the next meaning of christmas that comes to mind is the packaged christmas that started after the second world war, when the entire planet was recovering from such devastation that each country soon embraced its own meaning and held it tight as well. in america it was a new innocence that was created to make those who lost something or someone to the war that this is a time of family gathering to live the ideal christmas, one packaged by sears and roebuck, in their catalog to the glamour and magic of the macy's thanksgiving day parade the start of the new holiday season one of buying gifts and shopping bags and snowy nights, filled with the newest- brightest, and most awesome things you can select for those you love... the meaning that giving is better than receiving and we shall give till it hurts...after a depression and a war the country needed people to believe again, that christmas is a time of love and joy and wonder and family... the movies of the day coined the songs that have become infamous with this new meaning of christmas... have a white christmas, baby its cold outside, all the songs that sing of how wonderful this time of year is... endlessly they sing of a time of innocence and return to the family and the heart of home... this meaning holds many dear and will remain everlasting in our lives...
for many the meaning of christmas is the traditions that are shared within the family, the special foods that hold the holiday together.. every ethnic reality has their own foods that speak to the true meaning of christmas...they traditions also have songs that remind us of the warm embrace of family and the joy of traditions..
the work placed into making the table burst with love.. and the heart of the family the kitchen... this meaning of christmas will remain as long as there are families that share traditions, each generation teaching their children the spices and the flavor of the table .... that how wonderful are the smells and tastes of the holiday...
some people have lost a loved one on or near the holiday and they have a very somber meaning of christmas, it is not about lights, trees and gifts but one of loss and sadness... it is doubtful they will ever be able to change this feeling to one of joy and merriment... but as i said before each person has their own reality of the true meaning and for these people they hold their loved and lost ones close to their hearts, and do not need more to remind them of their loss...
then there are those who do not feel the meaning of christmas at all, they look at it as a time of commercial abuse and loneliness, they do not have the warmth of a family to embrace them, they do not have the joyous look in a child's eyes to remind them, they do not have traditions that have endured the test of time... for these people they see it as a garish display of excess and banal simplicity used as an opiate for the masses... fake and false in every sense.. a time of pretend or not.. they endure the time with a sense of self that remains close to their own hearts and do not feel the need to become one with what they see as false and trivial... every year they grow a bit further away from the meaning and they are fine with that...
then there are those who embrace the holiday as if it is a dream to create with every detail set into place, a currier & ives christmas card... the right lights just so, the many trees all decorated to fit a mood, the clothing selected to show the world their love of all things christmas... the home decorated with no expense spared to show the perfection of how they see the holiday as it exists in their souls... the table set to perfection, crystal taken out for the one time a year along with the good silver and the china that only sees the light of day for one day a year... for these people the reality of their meaning is that it must be absolute perfection to really celebrate the day as well as the season.... and they love the pomp and the regalness of what they see as the holiday... they are fine as long as everything lays into place without flaw....
there are many more meanings again as unique as each individual person... if we observe the many ways that others experience the true meaning of christmas we tend to take some to our heart and others are just ignored as the fluff we perceive them to be..
the lesson i have learned is there is no right or wrong meaning of christmas but a universal acceptance that we all own our own versions with the details that make them special to each of us...and as we live we may experience many versions of the true meaning and each is as correct as we are at the time we experience them.. many of us know that as our children grow they meaning changes as we watch the holiday through their eyes...and we are taken by surprise by how their vision changes our vision... the best example i can give is my own...when my girls were young we tried to keep the santa version around for as long as possible... with me outside jingling the bells as if the reindeer had landed upon the roof...watching santa on the website that tracked his trip...waking up at first light to watch them rip open the packages with their cousins and playing with the toys that pleased them and not the ones that i might have searched for and found at either great expense or personal hardship...but they loved what they loved and the joy they experienced in believing that santa had come and eaten the cookies and that the reindeer had indeed bitten the carrots we left out for them... then one year it was all gone when lindsay no longer believed and then the day shifted to a new meaning...we no longer got up at day break but slept in... new traditions were created, replacing old ones or just added to the yearly sojourn..i longed for the time when they woke with eyes ablaze at a miracle now each year we had to develop some new gimmick to make the day special... and the meaning changed for me... today i sit here in the glow that what the holiday means to me is the joy of gathering together to share food prepared by all and laugh at games and stories of christmases past.. and sigh for the future christmases when there are little ones with wide eyes again... but there is nothing but joy being felt today... we may have less each year but the love remains... gifts no longer hold any passion for us, the time we share together replaced those trinkets... and as the kids get older the balancing act as to where the holiday is celebrated becomes the new normal.. who is with us each night and day becomes the juggling act... so the true meaning for me this day is that no matter what we shall be together this night and tomorrow morning... enjoying the company of those we love and those who love us... what better meaning can the holiday have?
MERRY CHRISTMAS to all and celebrate just as you wish... own your own meaning... and make it true....
tony 12/24/2018