sliding out of the warm soft bed
placing his feet on the carpeted floor
seeking the protection and comfort of his slippers
reaching for his robe
all so rote
a lifetime of routine
slowly becomes habit
and that becomes so much more
the sun is not up yet
skies show an abundance of darkness fading slowly
but not illuminated
he shuffles to feed the dog
barely awake
aware of aches and pains increasing daily
why am i so sore?
he thought i was only asleep
not in the boxing ring going a few rounds with a heavyweight
he sits sipping his coffee
the elixir of the gods
even the smell sets off synapses of neurons
awakening the body and soul
and so begins his day
opening up the never ending emails
blah blah blah, meet exciting russian women, lose 16 pounds in 16 days, refinance your life insurance...blah blah the fucking blah
sorting through all the mess and deleting most
i am in desperate need of a miracle he thought
my life is just going nowhere
days blending together
i exist merely to exist
he kept pressing delete, delete, delete
mindless
he pauses and sighs
turning to look out the slider
on the garden so dismal
shades of fucking gray he thought
and tones of brownish fucking gray
where are the abundant greens that shelter his oasis?
just grays from the sky lowering to the ground
not fog just a overwhelming sense of grayness
the white fence blends to grays
the patio shaded grays
the wasted foliage in planters reminders of summer, gloomy dead grays
i fucking hate gray he said aloud to the empty room
except for the dog chewing on a toy
too busy to even take notice of his masters comment
the more he looked the more he became engulfed in grays
he began to think on gray
what the hell is gray?
can it be the washing out of color?
so simple of a thought, easy answer
or can it be more powerful than that?
the combining of all colors
into such a mass of light and energy that they overpower each other?
with a blast each color adds it own energy
causing a balancing reaction
each wiping the other clean
so they all blend to fucking gray?
no you fool, the rational voice said
all colors thrown together equal black
but what if they are not completely thrown together?
what if they shade in degrees?
what are you an astrophysicist?
no he thought why does complete always remain complete?
why is such a day filled with numerous shades of gray?
it is not black
you are wrong he says to his rational voice
they all equal gray
but maybe its a conspiracy? it is only outside that the world is shaded grays
indoors the colors all retain their vibrancy the reds are red
the other colors are clear and precise
maybe there is a plan?
to eradicate the outside world of color?
just stop it, he says to his deep innermost thoughts
stop the crazy train, i need to get off
yet he looks out again
there is no doubt the colors have been drained
what or who could do that?
why?
sure its 20 degrees outside
maybe the colors have all flown south with the song birds?
oh my goodness will you get a grip!
no, i know for a fact miami does not look like this
have you lost the very last thread of sanity?
obviously if i am debating with myself and losing
my sanity is surely in question
ok smart guy then you tell me
where are all the damn colors?
i do not know, if you don't then how could i?
well you have me on that point
so why argue the point the colors have been stolen, or fled
accepted ok so why and where?
do you think we are safe here?
what if whatever stole the colors can get inside?
wow you need a vacation, even i can't help you now
no, no... think about it for a minute what if it is just outside the door
waiting to slip in and drain all the color out of the rest?
the dog wants to go out
NO! i can't let him out there, what if he comes in with it and brings the grays inside?
of worse yet what if he turns gray?
i can't risk it he is staying inside
ok then do not complain if he pees on the rug
do i really care about that with the world fading away before my eyes?
well you used too, but i am beginning to see your point
thank you i can agree with myself
ok take a deep breath and look out there
holy shit its worse
yup i can see that for sure
what the hell is going on?
ok don't let the dog out
again thank you for agreeing with me
maybe its fog? or smoke?
no look its not moving but it is moving at the same time
it's like waves of fucking gray are being washed over everything
i have an idea
ok i am all ears
let's shut the curtains and go back to sleep
you think that is wise?
well we have always been safe under the covers
valid point
besides its a fucking gray day what will we miss?
agreed
with that he got up from the sofa, closed the curtains
went to his room, took off his robe, slid out of his slippers
pulled back the covers
and went back to bed
safely under the covers he said to his rational voice
good idea
thanks now turn off the light
what about the dog?
too late he peed
ok i will deal with that later
soon he slipped into a deep sleep
dreaming of a world filled with color and light
tony scarpa 1/29/2019
