he stood alone
a state familiar
common
predictable
desolate
watching the turbulent gray water crashing to the sand am i lost?
a snap echoing loudly, worn footpath in the deep forest am i lost?
darkening room with the fading daylight chill setting in am i lost?
shuffling listless and forlorn rooms without purpose am i lost?
clutching his blankets as he closes his eyes am i lost?abandoned fork, rare beef bloodying the potatoes am i lost?
scraping the razor across the stubble of his chin am i lost?
staring blankly ahead as the car slowly warms am i lost?
whistling tea kettle, vacant thoughts am i lost?
ever present cold, dampness bones ache am i lost?
is it just a mood he asks the empty room?
or something deeper
can a soul be lost?
or can it be placed on a path different
familiar yet unfamiliar?
set into motion
ready to change
to blossom
to flourish
growth eminent
winter slows down the process it does not stop it
in nature the time of reflection is while the sun visits other climes
perhaps not lost?
just resting, sedate as intended
time to allow the growth to begin deeply
far and isolated within
why must there be gray shadows cast where none exist?
a spark a flicker of light
exists, he exists
he may be dormant but he is alive
existence is not lack of life
contemplation is not lack of thought
inaction is not death but merely lack of action
i am not lost
i am not sad
i am not empty
i am not alone
the time is right to be withdrawn
as all living things rest while the days are short
so shall i
i will not anguish over the reality of this moment of time
but use it to cocoon as needed
before i can open up my wings again in the warm sunlight
no i am not lost
only resting, resting, resting
replenishing
restoring
waiting
not lost
not!
tony scarpa 1/16/2019
